A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I dont know whats wrong with me. my father died a few years back and i`ve accepted the fact he is gone and i`m trying to get on with me life but i just don`t feel like me any more. i get angry at the smallest of things like i`m hoovering for example and the cable get caught round the chair or the hoover is stuck on something and i get so annoyed and kick it or something. i seem to give up at the first or second hurdel the slightest thing goes wrong and i just get fed up with it and think sod it, i can`t be bothered talking. i usually feel that way in the morning when i wake up and think; i just can`t be bothered and i think to my self i don`t think its worth getting up. some times i don`t what is wrong with me? and what the heck should i do with my self? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2012): I'm sorry about your dad passing. You've had a major loss with the death of your dad and you're still grieving. I think you should go and talk to someone about all of this. You should also keep a daily journal of what you're thinking and feeling. Write down 5 good things for each day that happen and take you away from your bad feelings.
These are some other things I would also recommend: take vitamins- b vitamin patches are great- as well as fish oils and foods that boost seratonin naturally such as bananas, chocolate, green tea and others. Do exercise as well and try to smile, even if you don't feel happy, both smiling and laughing produce endorphins. Listen to music and sing out loud, go for a walk in the fresh air every day- try to get a good girl friend who loves you and have that physical contact, massages, smiles, holding hands and so on can work wonders- This will all help to start you on the road to healing and to feeling life is worth it again. Talk to friends and family about your loss.
If you feel you need it, try an antidepressant for a while also. I hope you start to feel better soon.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 I think that a bit of counseling is in order.
I am so very sorry for the loss of your father at such a young age...
I think you are a bit depressed and angry as the previous poster so wonderfully listed the stages of grief and mourning.
the thing is it is no linear and you can go back and forth between the stages.
a good therapist can help and to be honest a bit of anti-depressants might help for a while too just to get your body producing the seratonin on it's own again....
best of luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012): hey, so sorry to hear of your loss. the symptoms you are describing come with grief, but you may also have depression. either way, go and see your GP to get some help-maybe some counselling? CRUSE is also a UK organisation that provides a place to explore your feelings following bereavement. there is lots of help out there to help you begin to feel better. be brave&go see your GP to talk it through.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2012): Hi Anonymous,
I'm sorry for the loss of your Father.
You mention a couple of feelings: "not feeling yourself; getting angry; giving up; it's not worth getting up in the morning"...
The only possible reason you give is your father having died a few years back, which you say you have accepted.
Perhaps in your mind you feel you have accepted...OR you feel you SHOULD HAVE by NOW, but your heart and the rest of you have not caught up to that fact. There is no rule or deadline by when we should be done with grieving.
There are 5 stages of mourning, if you google it there are many articles on this which I would recommend you read up about. They are:
1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance
Perhaps you have reached number 5, acceptance, but you also return to some of the others like anger again, feeling isolated because you lost him but the world keeps going for everybody else, and depression - not feeling it's worth it to get up.
Everything you are feeling is normal, and your asking for advice is great. You will have more people who have gone through this sharing their experiences with you, and you will see you are normal. Also research sites where people have lost a parent, and share there also. The more you talk, the better. Sometimes it takes a lot of time.
I'm sorry you lost your father... I feel I am losing my father slowly as he has Parkinsons, it's advanced so due to medication and advancement of the disease he has dementia now which will become Alzheimer’s. We know it's part of life but it doesn't make it any easier, however this is when we turn to other family members, loved ones and friends to encourage us, as we do for them in their lives too.
If nothing else helps (research; sharing with others; etc.) I would recommend a visit to a professional to help you get through this difficult period in your life, so you can return to your old self - wiser, more experienced in the ways of life, and ultimately, happy again with the memories you share with your Father.
Wishing you all the best,
xxxx E
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