A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, hope some of you could help me here. This is kinda 2 questions in one so sorry its long I know im probably being very stupid and yes i havent gotta get over it but i need some help and someone else opinion on what has happened. Obviously i won't act on it and just need someone else to tell me if they agree what it could be....and yes this lad seems to be a knob sometimes!! Ok basic stuff i've liked him for 2 years and he apparently liked me although he never admitted it and still wont but it was obvious and i have been told + at the time i was being bullied and it was hard for us to be friends. Time went on and about 7 months ago we were great friends, could have a laugh, have fun, hung out together etc. Things weren't brillants for some reason he always has had this thing where hes different with me to others, like won't say a lot o things to me and in a way sort of just holds back if you get me. Like he'd start messing around without someone out the class and the others but not me. We sat together in class all the time for a year and if he wnated he could have moved but he didn't so surely he can't hate me that much! I've alwyas loved this guy and he knows it but surely that can;t be the reason hes weird with me because hes still fine with people that keep making a move on him because they like him that much!Ok we left college about a month ago and suddenly out the blue his mate added me and said hi i'm (name)'s mate! etc and she did say whilst we were talking "u got any1 u like?" i didn't say him because i thought i don't wanna make it any worse and she kept wanting for us 3(me her and this lad) to meet up. She told someone she was trying to get us together and she wanted to make us happy. So to be fair you can guess what hes gone and told her for her to do that. And like she said to me when i said i missed people from college she said i'm sure you'll see (this lads name)again! Like she knew...Anyway turns out since then he said to her he doesn't like me and that i stalk him! :( and so she was shocked and told him she didn't want to know. Thing is these situations people hide things and so they won;t tell people stuff their mates don't want them to so i can't find out anything. So was just wondering what you thought?? (shes a very nice person btw and i;ve seen the convos so i know it true)Anyway this is where it gets complicated. He's liked this other girl who was in our class, she lead him on last year and then broke his heart, said she was only in it for the chase and went back to her bf. She also said to be its mates before lads and she wouldn't hurt me because she knows what he means to me. She was engaged to him but he had to move to cyprus(family reasons) and she changed her mind about going, i can see why because he didn't always treat her right and who would wanna leave their family and friends. Even while she was with her bf though shes always flirted with this lad i like and other people. She hates being single, hates being lonely, and loves attention off lads! Now we've lft college they are apprantly together but one minute he says he hasn't seen her at all and then the next hes saying he's seen her loads, so you never know whats the truth he changes the story all the time. I don't think hes seen her much, if at all, its just stuf hes told people and texts someones seen that makes me think that! But as i say you never know whats the truth! THis girl though, shes sex mad, loves attention, into all R n B n bassline music, in a way acts like a chav but shes not and her mates are...wel they;re typical girls that love lads n sex and all that lot, some seem like chavs, and shes always gone for the "bad boys" Whereas he's the oposite hes passionate aout rock and roll, gigging and bands is his life, hea a stricked christain, wont have sex before marriage etc, they really don't have anything in common! Thing is the no sex thing, hes said he might be willing to give it up which i know his family will hate him for and everyones saying its just wrong because its who he is(shes been texting him like sexy messages etc which could contribute) and for all that he believes in he will throw it all away. It really hurt me to see that he would actually do that. Everyones saying its wrong when me and friends have spoke about it. Also not long ago he said the band hes in was his dream, he loved it, gigging is his life, yet since hes been wanting her hes throwing it all awya and hes chnaging so badly. The stuff he thought was stupid and wrong and that he'd never do hes now doing because she is and so that he can be with her!Oh yea also she doesn;t seem to wanna change her status and say shes with him! I think her friends who take the mick in the end becasue of the no sex thing.Its stupid. I know its his life and he will learn from his mistakes but i care about him and love him to much to just sit back and watch it. Hes not who hes always been! Yes its his choice but love does stange things to you and stuff but hes totally changing for the worst. When hes with us alone yea you can tell a difference but hes still the fun guy, if shes around hes totally different, i can't have any fun with him i kinda get blanked out.Its just not right!But pleae help me to deal with this i don't want to lose him as a friend despite what hes said about me I think there's more to this and he doesn't hate me. Infact a part of me thinks its denial because people that have met us have said they think we like each other, the way he acts and now whats happened with his mate.(she had no other way of knowing who i was!)I can't bare to think about them together or even see them together because it hurts to much, me and him have been through too much and its totally wrecked me inside. I actually wnat to die and im waking up in the morning feeling very sick becasue of it all. Yes it maybe pathetic that im like this because they've got together but its seriously killed me and i need help.Please don;t judge me please, ive found it hard to explain all this so some might sound more harsh than it is. I'd so anything for him, tbh i think this girl knows shes hurt me and shes trying to pretend like nothings happened. Also yes i know hes not worth it but i just want an opion on whats happening ad how i can at least try and be ok again if not happy! But i do think theres more to this and people seem to think that too that are friend with both of us. Its like for some reason hes trying to hate me before its easier or something. Just please trust me what i've said here other people have thought as well so its not all in my head! Please help!! :)
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bullied, engaged, flirt, move on, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, carrotface +, writes (3 July 2009):
just let him get on with what he does,, he needs to learn from his own mistakes but just make sure your there for him now and after if something terrible happens! Let him know how your feeling.. Have a heart to heart gain his trust good luck
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