A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with a woman for 8 months. We're very much in love. She's Spanish and I'm American, and we live here in Spain. The problem is I don't much care for the city we're living in, and have a better job opportunity with a lot more money, in France. The place is also much better suited to me and my career. She also has a great job as a university teacher, which is a difficult job to attain. She doesn't speak french, and the likelihood of finding a similar job in France is nearly impossible. I love her more than any women I've ever been with. She feels the same way. She could never be in France with me, and Im not sure I could spend my life in this city. But the thought of losing her is unbearable. I've selfishly asked her to leave her position and come with me to france...I told her I'd marry her. She agrees to half of the proposition: the marriage part. But leaving would be equivalent to scrapping her career for good.Her entire lifes work would be null and void. I understand her problemand she sees my point of view. I suppose I can stay here forever...but what if for some reason the relationship fails, and I'm beyond exploring my possibilities. I'm very confused. I can;t ask her to quit her job- but I don't know if I can live here forever, and I'm not sure if I can live without her either.Help!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): HiWe have one aunt and two uncles sat here debating about your question... this is all we can come up with.1. If neither is willing to forfit their career for the other, then seperate.2. Selfish Wxxxxx.3. How about both plodding on at this moment in time... but forget France and Spain and discuss a suitable place in the world that you both have great career opportunities and are both happy to live.
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