A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, i'm a 21 year old woman who sufferers with severe anxiety disorder and as a result, my sex drive seems to be zero. i find it incredibly hard to relax as a result of this and can only seem to relax enough in the bedroom if i've has a few drinks. am i alone in this?
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male
reader, Sandman  +, writes (17 April 2011):
 For starters, is your severe anxiety disorder a diagnosis given to you by a licensed therapist? And if so, are you take medications for your anxiety? If you are, the medications could be a reason your are suffering with a low sex drive.
It is known that certain medications can cause a decrease in libido/sex drive in both men and women who take them. If you are taking medications, consult with your doctor about other treatment options that won't cause a decrease in your sex drive. Be willing to have an open and honest discussion about sex and your desire for sex - that you feel it is important to you and you wish to engage in sexual activities as much as can. Some doctors know that the treatment they are giving their patients can negatively affect their sex life but don't often talk about it since they are not treating the desire for sex but rather the issue. In your case, it's anxiety.
Alcohol is known for its affects on the mind and helping many people to relax. If you find that this works for you, then I would recommend continuing but drinking as little alcohol as possible - enough to get you "in the mood". What can happen is that you drink more and more to get "relaxed" and you begin to build up a tolerance to what was once a few drinks that then ends being a lot of drinks. Drink responsibly.
And finally, try to some other things to help get things started. Let your partner know that you wish to have sex but that you need to be well relaxed (without alcohol). Lie in bed naked together and kiss and stoke/touch each other. If it leads to sex, then great. If not, then great. Just learn to be relaxed without having to drink alcohol. Try to allow being in the presence of each other and let nature happen on its own. Don't get frustrated if it doesn't happen the first few times, because more than likely it won't. But DO try it. Give yourself and your sex drive a chance to get revved up. Fantasize about your partner during the day so that when you see him, you're ready. Talk to him on the phone and tell him all the things you want to do with him. Have him tell you the same. When you see each other, you might be pretty ramped up and ready for sex.
Relax, it's okay. There are lots of people who suffer with anxiety. Search the internet for forums for anxiety sufferers. Talk with other people who share your condition and see what (if any) remedies they have found for increasing their sexual desire.
Hope this helps.
A
male
reader, YoshQ +, writes (17 April 2011):
That often happens with severe anxiety, because it can be a very emotionally involved experience. I suggest you try a few relaxation methods, like massaging, and make sure you take it slow, ease into it. Maybe this will help, otherwise there's nothing wrong with drinking or smoking a little beforehand.
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