A
female
age
30-35,
*ngie7
writes:My boyfriend and I are in a Long distance relationship only a 2hour drive away. Were almost at a year in January but have been friends for 5 year going on 6. These past three months he's hardly talked to me but he doesn't stop completely. One time he went 3 weeks until he said something to me which was the longest and was cause his cousin wouldn't let him at her house to use her computer and he didn't have his phone hooked up at the time. Here are the last few msgs we sent to each other Me - I love you and I feel like we are losing touch. sorry about all the msgs ily - oct. 1BF - we artent losing touch baby ive been working 15 hour days i go in at 11 at night get out at about 3 in the afternoon the next day most days i even bought a new phone for us to talk but its tyhe straight talk droid and the fuckers dont have a tower for that phone in XXXX so i have to go and get it returned and get a regular one dont worry baby we havent lost touch i just been workin my ass off r u on? i love u with all my heart i wanted to try to talk before i went to sleep for the day i gotta wake up at 9:30 i love u with all my heart baby just keep ur head up and quit thinkin negative cuz we both know nuttin that dumb will keep us apart i love u baby ima dream about u oct. 2Bf - Hey my new phone number is XXX-XXXX i got a new one my dear i kno u been worrying but i just been workin i love u still if u think i forgot about you call me cuz i want u tobturn my fb mobile on for me since i havent had access to the net it is loud in my truck so i wont really be able to hear much is why i want my mobile turned on. - Oct 17me - hey sweetheartI've been crying cause I called your old number and some girl answered and hung up on me. I'll turn on your facebook when I get to work but you will need to send me the code. and please can you tell me what was going on. - Oct 18bf - hey call back baby i found out my uncle died today the same one who lost his wife a year ago got a lil messed up and passed out - Oct. 20 12 amThat was the last I heard from him He never answers his phone except twice between the 17th and the 19th but besides that all it does is ring and he doesn't answer :S. It has only been off once that I know of but I gave up on calling him he has internet on his phone the only thing he can't do is call me cause his phone doesn't have LD for my country its only LD in his country.He's acting different before when he had his phone he would answer my phone all the time except when he was sleeping or working and he would always get back to me but now this is ridiculous. Plus I may be pregnant he doesn't know cause I can't reach him. I don't like going there unless he knows but what should I do? show up at his house? what should I do I love him and he's talking the same just not making effort any more.He also wanted to take me to Florida, that was his idea not mine and he wasn't going without me he said he has been talking about it for months and he was waiting to finish this job he was at. Thanks for reading and answering sorry for making it so long.
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be pregnant, cousin, facebook, I love you, long distance, the internet Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Angie7 +, writes (21 November 2011):
Angie7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the feedback
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 When was the last time you say your boyfriend in the flesh? Reason why I ask because, it makes no sense that you're pregnant by your LD boyfriend.
Have you missed a period?? Miss period, then take a test. At the moment, there's no sense in worrying about it till that time comes.
What exactly is it that your boyfriend does for a living? Is he an ER doctor, deployed in Afghanistan, lying dead in a coffin? There's no excuse for his lack there of communication. It takes a matter of seconds to send a text. Also, it's not that expensive to get LD calling for Canada put on your phone. If anything he can also Skype with you.
Either way, I think it's time to end this LDR. You're putting in the effort but he's not. LDRs can only work IF BOTH parties put in the effort and time. You've got yourself a pretty one-sided relationship. Time to severe ties.
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A
female
reader, Angie7 +, writes (4 November 2011):
Angie7 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you everyone for your input it's appreciated. I went to the doctors and got a pregnancy test it was negative. But I still need to go for a blood test to confirm I am not pregnant.
@So_Very_Confused I will answer some of your questions.
That was his old phone number mind you that number was out for 3 months and the phone company is known for switching number. but I did try the old number a second time and some guy answered and it wasn't him or his brother or any of his friends cause I know how their voices sound on the phone.
He's not a man whore mind you the first time we had sex he hardly knew what he was doing cause it was so long since he had sex or had a girlfriend. I was his first one in 4 years but I'm hoping I didn't give him the confidence to be a man whore and go and cheat on me. I am a sexual person but I don't always want it. I tease him in the grocery store and at the end of the day but we don't have sex everyday just playful. Once a girl tried dancing with him at a party and he called me and he was walking to his cousins house from the party cause he didn't like the girl doing that. He's honest with me and if he has lied I never caught him in it I just doubt he'd cheat. If you read my other post you can see more of the story about us losing contact his cousin doesn't know much about me and where I am from. Besides that I trust him, he's honest and open and he is spontaneous but I don't think he'd cheat on me all of his friends have said great things like your all he talks about and he always shares everything he has with me without me asking. another thing I should say though is he is drinking a lot lately he almost everyday he wasn't like that when I was out there. No communication its been 14 days now I last talked to him on oct. 20th when he told me to call back but I was sleeping by then but I heard nothing since then. It's not like him to be like this.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Oh dear. I have a bad feeling on this LDR... I just ended an LDR by becoming live in partners We spent a year driving up and down I-95 as we too were 2 hours apart by car... so I get exactly what you are saying.
I don't feel positive for you I'm sorry. And the key is that a girl answered his phone number and hung up. THAT IS NOT A GOOD SIGN. Did you ask him about that? What did he tell you? Do you believe him?
IF you guys are in a committed relationship three weeks is a long long time to go without contact. 3 days would be a long time if you are serious... yes working long hours every day is tiresome and time consuming and men are very tied to their jobs in most cases... but it takes 2 minutes to call and say "hey baby" it's hard to do when there is another woman in the room that you are telling you are done and over with the LDR girl (yes I'm being harsh here and throwing this in your face and I am sorry but the SECOND I read about the second phone and the girl answering was that he's not being faithful)
When was the last time you saw him? If you have hardly talked to him for 3 months.... how far along might you be???
IF he's not contacting you or taking your calls, I'm sorry but no matter how busy a man is, if he's committed to a woman he will make time for her.
LDRs more than non-distance relationships take effort
trust (do you trust him? be honest... don't you think this girl answering his phone and his new phone number and his lack of contact with you leaves you wondering what is going on in terms of him having another girl on the side)
honesty (do you think he's being honest with you about everything?)
communication (he's NOT communicating with you)
visitations (at 2 hours drive apart you guys should be seeing each other at least once a month if not more often if you are that committed)
and finally
a plan to end the distance.... (do or did you guys have a plan to end the distance?)
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Hello,
The first thing to do is to have a pregnancy test and check your body. Make an appointment with your medical doctor and make sure YOU are in good health and if you are pregnant.
With regards to your LD boyfriend, he has indeed gone very quiet on you and there really are too many excuses for my liking. 3 weeks without contact is crackers in a LDR and I don't buy all these excuses about phone numbers. I think for the moment, you need to find out if you are pregnant first and then address this relationship. Find out, and then you will be able to deal better with what to do from now on. Take care.
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A
male
reader, GhostChild  +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Hi,
As someone who has experience in long distance relationships, I can tell you that this isn't the way they should be. This might hurt to think about, but if his heart was still in the relationship then he would make much more of an effort to get into contact with you.
There are people out there who live in completely different parts of the world, different countries and different time zones who still manage to stay in contact with each other via phone calls, skype, mail etc.
You're only a 2 hour drive away from each other, you should realistically be able to talk every single day and even see each other a few times a week.
It sounds to me like he may have moved on or, as big of a pill as it may be to swallow, he is most likely cheating on you.
Relationships require communication, and LDR's require a special amount of contact and effort from both parties. If you're putting in all the work and he isn't, then that should tell you where he stands.
As for the pregnancy, confirm that you're pregnant first before you say anything. See a doctor and get a proper pregnancy test done first before you spring it on him.
If you really are pregnant, then you have to tell him. I would recommend going face-to-face, this is the kind of conversation that needs to be had in person, so yes, turn up at his door. Tell him beforehand that you're coming over and there's something you have to discuss so that he's at least expecting you.
Best of luck!
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (3 November 2011):
 Hi,
I think you need to talk to him. I understand he's working, busy, specially with his uncles passing he must be going through a lot of emotional pain, but there's absolutely no excuse for him not to call you for 3 weeks.
Why he had to change his number? Also, you mentioned a girl answered, and hang up on you?
We all have our responsibilities, but it's not fair to you that he ignores you this way. You've been together for almost a 1 year now, I think you have the right to ask him what's going on. You deserve to know.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, kendra30752richardz +, writes (3 November 2011):
 This is a hard one. Any other strange activity from him? Did he ever explain the girl answering the phone? It's really hard to tell with just those messages, but I've had several instances where a guy moved away and little by little quit calling or coming to visit. It was eventually over. If you notice a drastic change in his efforts to call or see you then I'd break it off or tell him you're done until he can commit better/make more of an effort. Since you're long distance it's hard to tell whether he's truly busy or just wanting to keep you hanging on by a thread just for specific "desires". Some men will call and come visit just enough to keep you from cutting off all ties only for booty calls. I'm not saying this is the case, but I'd look out for that first and if you can eliminate the booty call only thing then pay attention to whether or not he's slowly trying to "ease away". If either of those are the case dump him and save your heart for someone worthy. If he's truly just busy and still faithful maybe give it time and maybe he'll be able to work on you guys being together more. If he makes excuses week after week about calling or visiting or if he avoids those topics, I would take that as him being disinterested. That's just me though. He may be dying to see you just as much as you are to see him :) Best of luck!
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