A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We got coffee, the next day he said we couldn't be more than friends cause I'm not is religion. We kept hanging out as friends, but he kept flirting and taking me out. Then he came over one night, we watched tv and talked a bunch, eventually he started hugging me, by this point it was really late, like 2 am. At first it was kind of just his arm around my waist but eventually he was pretty much bear hugging, but he didn't push any further. So we laid around hugging and talking for like an hour, before he gets up really suddenly and says hes gotta leave. Then he sends me this message about how sorry he is and how he likes me but feels like he’s doing the wrong thing hugging me etc cause of his religion. Then he’s like, I need to close off to the possibility of dating you, but anything is possible, cause higher powers are in control. What is wanting? I can look past the religious stuff to give it a shot with him, what do i do?Help.
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (11 November 2015):
What religion stops a man and a woman from falling in love? What religion says you have to be part of that religion to be in love with that person?? NOT TRUE CHRISTIANITY!!!
Read this for yourself...
1 Corinthians 12 "if a Christian man has a wife who is an unbeliever and she agrees to go on living with him, he must not divorce her."
1 Corinthians 14 "For the unbelieving husband is made acceptable to God by being united to his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made acceptable to God by being united to her Christian husband."
Anyone who tells you they cannot date you because of religion...they have no idea what religion truly is. These are people making their own rules, not the rules set by GOD himself.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015): What exactly do you mean look past religious stuff? Tell him you converted to his religion. See how he reacts...if he is pleased then maybe he wants a genuine relationship with you and thats all that was holding him back. (Assuming you want to convert)
If you dont, then cut it off. He has made it crystal clear religion is a deal breaker for him. He obviously is attracted to you which is why he keeps initiating things with you but in the end he will leave you because of his religion. Why go through the process unless you just want to have fun. Then take it for what it is worth.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (10 November 2015):
If he isn't sure about his decision then don't continue doing things with him. He will eventually take advantage of the fact that you can look pass religion and allow him to be with you while he is unsure...not that he is a bad guy or anything. It's a part of human nature. Also there can be no friendship here. Make a decision.
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A
male
reader, Been there Now over it +, writes (10 November 2015):
As a non-religious person I've been down this road four times...all four relationships evolving to the somewhat serious and sexual level. They overlooked their religious needs at first but that never lasted. I'm fine and can live with other people's beliefs but I am not going to change to their viewpoint unless I'm really persuaded they are right.
Honestly, the guy sounds like a pussy, anyway. Move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2015): I think he is conflicted; but that's not your issue to deal with. This guy wants to date, he knows what that entails.
He should find a religious woman. I don't think you should deal with this back and forth nonsense. You're looking for a romance, not friendship.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 November 2015):
 You might be able to look past the religion thing, but he's not going to be able to do that.
I'd say "hi" when I see him and exchange pleasant chit-chat if you are in a situation where you can't avoid his company. But beyond that? No more alone time, no more hanging out with him.
He's not for you. It happens. It's not the best feeling in the world but you'll get past it as long as you don't cling to a forlorn hope that he'll suddenly up and change for you.
There are other better matches for you out there, you just haven't met them yet. And if he keeps on taking up your time and wasting your time then you might not meet them!
Say buh-bye and don't look back!
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A
male
reader, devont  +, writes (9 November 2015):
 You might be able to get past the religious stuff, but HE can't. Respect that and move on, and don't put pressure on him to compromise his religion.
If he does decided to date you, you would be second to his religion, and that means that he'd probably happily sleep with you, but would never offer you anything serious. It doesn't sound like that's what either of you want.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2015):
 Cut it off.
In Judaism there is a "joke" that says "shiksas are for practice"
it means that if a Jewish boy sleeps with a non-jewish woman (a shiksa) that he's just having sex he will NOT marry her.
IF he has said that religion is an issue... LISTEN to him...
proceed at your own risk of heartbreak...
if you continue... it will become a "dirty secret" of hanging out... not meeting family... lying to friends and having clandestine sex. When push comes to shove he will marry someone his parents approve of and not someone outside of his religion.
I had a Catholic guy do this to me... he could see dating me but not marrying me..
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 November 2015):
 I'd cut it off. I think while he doesn't want to DATE/MARRY you he might be inclined to have some casual sex with you and then "blame" you for enticing him later on.
End it. HE is NOT a friend, and there is no future with him.
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