A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A little over a month ago I met a guy and we went on 3 dates. The first 2 dates went amazing and I really felt a connection but on the third date I slept at his place and things got a bit awkward, I kind of came on too strong, asking too many questions about where it was going and scared him off. No surprises, I didn't hear from him after the date and I didn't bother messaging him either because I figured he wouldn't respond. The thing is I was stressed out at the time of the third date and I wasn't acting like myself. I think there was a lot of potential there and he seemed interested up until that point. I want to call him or text him now to see if he'd be willing to hang out and I want to let him know I don't have expectations. At the same time though I don't want to come across as needy or desperate. Is it worth the risk of him not responding? Is there a way I could message him that would make him more likely to respond?
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female
reader, Swedishdancer  +, writes (15 February 2016):
I was told after coming on to strong to " give it a rest" , I'm going to rest and keep working on myself. Learning a very important lesson once again
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): Nah don't call him. Actions speak volumes. So by not calling him you will get the point across much better than if you get in touch with him and explain your actions. He is not going to hear a word you say if you do. All he is going to be thinking is, "oh God, she's back.." And then you will really seal your fate.And I agree with the males. It's probably dunzo.Dating is hard. In the future, when you date, try to stay out of each other's places as long as possible. When you start making out and taking the dating to physical levels it creates alot of emotions in women. And if the love is not there and the solidness of the relationship does not exist, you can end up saying the wrong things out of insecurity and what not. And this surge of emotions that often comes out of left field when a woman begins to like a guy. Try to avoid that by keeping things platonic as long as possible.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2014): I'm the one who asked the question, I just wasn't clear on a few things, he did try to have sex initially but I said no, that wasn't what put him off though because he still got off. One thing that might have put him off was I teased a bit too much. And combined with asking about the future, I think he just assumed I was playing too many games. He was definitely interested in me up until this date.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Nope, he's gone...let it be,let it be(as the song goes).Lesson learned; most guys don't want to plan for the future
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (23 September 2014):
Uhhhh.... I disagree, you can totally scare a guy off. Or girl for that matter. It's easier to stop seeing someone early on when warning signs start popping up then it is to ignore those signs and have issues after there's a commitment and feelings involved.
I don't know how you can fix things, but what in the world do you have to lose?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 September 2014):
 I agree with Cindy.
IF a person is interested they do not get SCARED OFF. Now if you demanded his hand in marriage or an engagement ring on the 3rd date, then OK THAT could scare off a guy, but sleeping over at his? no.
I answered this question the other day, iirc and my opinion is the same.
The REASON he didn't try for sex was because he isn't as into you as you are into him. The reason he didn't get in touch afterwards is because he isn't into you. He think you will "get" the message without him having to actually TELL you.
It might not sit well with you that he isn't into you. I know it sucks, but such is the "dating-game". Some are hits, some are misses.
If you WANT to know for sure, call him. My guess is... he won't take your call.
Why?
Because he is a bit of a coward.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 If he never got in touch after the third date, it's quite probable... this is not going anywhere.
Personally , I do not much believe in all these guys getting " scared off ". I found that when people are really interested, or at least, really attracted, ... they become very " brave ", and make a lot of allowances for awkwardness, clumsiness, nerves etc.
Then , again, it's true, nothing ventured nothing gained. Each case is individual, this is not mathematics. What about the " risk " of him not responding ?.. What are you really risking?, nothing. A little prick to your ego. You'd be snubbed by a guy who's not that interested , and that you barely know, it's not that overwhelming feelings are at play, I suppose. So what if he does not respond. It's not like he is going to print it on the newspaper : " I am not interested in girl X ", - plus, so at least you'd know that there's nothing in there and it's best to move on.
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A
female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (23 September 2014):
 Nothing ventured and all that
Just call him, say hi, ask if he is free at some point. Then you will have your answer by his response.
If its positive....Don't go to his place as it gives him expectations of sex.
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