A
female
age
51-59,
*anti
writes:I am a 35 years old female who has just called off my wedding because my fiance cheated me. I confided into a friend who is married for 12 years and with a 12 years old kid and ended up having an affair with him.He claims that he loves me but he loves his wife too. He treats me well but my time with him is limited and at the end of the day he goes bak to his wife. I love him so much and do not want to lose him. He says that he loves me and only time will decide if we could ever be together forever.What do i do?
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female
reader, lexilou  +, writes (2 July 2008):
 I am not going to give the answer you want to hear but I am going to be honest with you and give my true opinion.
You have to decide why you started this affair. You were obviously very low and he, whether deliberately or not took advantage of this vulnerability. You needed someone to turn to, he was there and you ended up sleeping together.
First of all think about how hurt you were by your fiance's betrayal yet you are willing to hurt another woman in exactly the same way.
He has to go back to his wife all the time which you dont like so you have just stopped one misery and replace it with another.
As hard as it will be to be alone right now I think you should end this affair as soon as possible.
Give yourself time to truly grieve over your lost relationship with your ex so that when you do meet someone else, who isnt married, you know you are entering into it for all the right reasons. I wish you luck x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2008): Well this is probably going to be a little bit biast, partly because I'm strongly against all kinds of cheating. Its unfair on those who don't have the oppurtunity to even be with someone they love.Anyway, back to you, you of all people know how it feels being cheated on. You had to confide in your friend signalling that you were upset about it - obviously. How do you think his wife would feel?! And even more than that, with you it was just you that was hurt, but now this time its his child as well. A child who isn't as experienced with pain, not as strong and your going to take his/her father away from him/her. So what time is limited. Your lucky you've even got it. If you know how it feels you wouldn't wish the pain on anyone?! Why are you doing just that!Well personally I'd ask you to leave him and his family alone and find someone else, but I couldn't see you doing that. Your going to destroy two peoples lives. So in the mean time I'd count your lucky stars and be patient. If he dumps you so be it. He vowed his whole life with someone. Although you didn't get the oppurtunity neither of you are being the adult.At least the child might not do what your doing in the future because he knows how it feels...
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