A
male
age
30-35,
*idfromLA93
writes:Hi ,i have a issue almost a 1 year now, i had a relationship with 2 year younger girl when i was 16 and we were together for 1 and a half week , i was not attracted to her at all ,but it impressed me that she asked me out and i said she seemed nice , so i gave it a try, we just knew each other for 2 days.So we were together it went normal for a few days , then i started to recognize strange things like she never gave me a smile , she never gave me a compliment and i did all the time , it just made me feel bad. Then next day she tells me that i should not do anything stupid and she always will watch each step i make , i kind of felt creepy , i had this conversation with her before that she should not worry about me cheating on her. She waited always for me after every class in school and i had not even much chance to talk to my friends she always waited at the morning i came at the entrance , she always made sure i go alone home. With the time i started to learn about her background barely , the i recognized this can't go good if will still be with her and lie to her that i still felt something for her, because it was the best to do , at that day i asked her to sit down and talk with me , then she was upset about me spending time with my own friends(like this was once at one day) , so i calmed her down and told her that i can't do this anymore and i told her in the nicest way , what she does is standing up and running away without letting me explain. I learned from her background that she had six boyfriends before, they broke up with her because of the same reason as i did ,even they were the same time together with her as i.I learned that after i broke up with her ,but at that day i broke up with her i walked with my best friend home and she attacked me from behind trying to grab me and punch me , my best friend separated us , i told her to get away from me not to talk to me ever , i just felt intimidated and i was shocked , and she said i cheated on her with my best friend , but that was not true and everybody else knew it too we were just very good friends. Next day she sends her friend to me to ask me i f i want to go back to her , but my answer was no , because its over and i never forgive her for lying to me and attacking me , then she runs to me and starts to yell something which i did not understand . Later on she attacks my best friend then she recognizes she is not the right girl to mess with so she runs away. For a very long time she texted around 20 messages every day , she fallowed me every where, she called every midnight or six in the morning ,so she started to stalk me , calling me with bad words bothering my friends trying to get people against me ( she failed in that one , because everybody knew already how she was).After 3 months text messaging and calling stopped , i thought this was it , but NO she still was fallowing me till a very little while , she goes to the dean reporting ME for bothering her then i get called in and i get accused ,then i proved to the dean and the school police officer that she was bothering me ,i told them i can bring in at least a hundred people who could tell the truth , so they believed me. Then they say that my friends are bullying her , i asked if they wonder why , i did admit i felt horrible that i did not do anything against it , but this was her fault she picked it on them. So i made a deal with her and the dean , that i stop my friends and she stops bothering me. I did hold my bargain and my friends did not look at her even so , i thought again this was it , but no she did not hold her bargain ,so i marched into the deans office and asked what the hell is going on , the dean said he talks to her , guess what he said she is a very special case and he tries everything , yeah what ever, she fallowed again and i was happy that the dean caught her and talked to her , you know what he asked her ? if she is all right if we are still bothering he r , i was so upset that i recognized i can't trust the deans anymore. So she fallowed me till the end of the 2nd semester. I am afraid she is going to do it again and not let me live a normal life , i did try everything my friends too ,she just does not cool off, some friends said i should slap her but i don't slap girls and i could get kicked out from school. So what the hell should i do ? she doesn't move on.I learned already, i never should have a relationship with somebody i barely know and i am not attracted too .
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best friend, broke up, move on, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (31 July 2010):
I agree, you need to save everything that that girl sends to you: text messages, voicemails and your call log. Don't be embarrassed to get your parents involved. They should also be contacting the dean and telling him what's going on and that this girl is stalking and harassing you. She sounds like a total nut! If the dean is still going to side with her, definitely get the police involved.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2010): You've spoken with the dean of your school, which is the proper step. If you feel like he doesn't believe you, offer to show him all the texts from her or the call log on your phone. If the dean doesn't believe you, you can take your proof to the police and file a restraining order against her, making it illegal for her to contact you or come a certain distance away from you. You should let your parents know about your situation, too, so that they can back you up with the dean or the police.
It sounds like this girl is very insecure, which is why she's very clingy and seems like a stalker. If she did this with six other guys and all her focus is on you, she might shift her focus to a new guy and forget about bothering you. All you can do is keep ignoring her and telling your friends to keep ignoring her. If she physically attacks you again, you can call the police, because you don't deserve to be assaulted because you're not provoking her violence.
Best of luck to you!
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