I broke up with Sam, and I kissed John who told me Sam still loves me

A female age 30-35, *skc writes:

Recently on a night out, I began talking to my friend John. We had kissed once but he has been going out with his current girlfriend for over a year. This doesnt bother me, but as i was the designated driver that night i remember everything he said to me. I went out with his friend Sam for a couple of months but broke up with him when i told him i still wasnt over my ex who had cheated on me. After i had broken up with him i realised i hadnt fully thought it through before breaking up with him. However i left it be, as i wasnt interested in a relationshop at the time. When i was talking to John he began casually asking questions about Sam. He then told me Sam fell head over heals for me, and was still in love with me even thought its been a year since we broke up. He also said he was jealous of him at the time because he was so happy. I am riddled with guilt and cant stop thinking about all of this. I feel horrible knowing i hurt Sam, even though it wasnt intentional, and dont know what i am supposed to do. I know there isnt much i can do but its so difficult not to think of it. I hate feeling like this knowing i hurt somebody like that, as i know what it feels like. Sam doesnt talk to me and although i thought it was because he hated me, John told me that its inface because he still loves me. I dont know whether to try talk to Sam or just let things be as they are. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

View related questions: broke up, cheated on me, jealous, my ex

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A female reader, askc  +, writes (6 December 2009):

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