A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi iv got myself into a situation.. iv been dating my girlfriend for near 7 years now and I felt our time was up.. I then had another girl flirting with me constant at work and over Christmas I let sometin happen with her.. I felt so bad that it had happened but at the same time felt it so rite. I tryed to finish with my girlfriend and walked out to be with the other girl. It felt easy until I find out my ex is pregnant. I don't want to be with her but she doesn't know about my new girl and wants me back and has reeled me back in. I don't know how to tell her I'd been seein some1 else or tell the new girl my ex is pregnant. How do I go about this. I loved to be a dad but I dnt think I want to be with my ex anymore and I'm scared if I tell her she will block me out .
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 January 2015):
 Well, even IF you ex is pregnant doesn't mean you HAVE to "martyr" yourself and stay with her. You can still be a part of your child's life (if she indeed IS pregnant and goes through with the pregnancy).
Just because something "feels so right" doesn't MAKE it right. Flirting and starting up with another girl BEFORE you even dump or STOP having sex with the "old" one is not cool. It's cheating, no matter how you look at it.
You can either RIP the bandage off with the GF (or almost ex) and let her know you don't see long term future with her and a baby is not going to make you stay. That you have MET someone else. BE HONEST.
Then you WILL HAVE to tell the new GF that the "almost ex" is pregnant (if she really is, I'd ask to see the pregnancy results from the doctor or the test). If she is not pregnant... you will STILL have to BE honest with the new girl.
I feel a little sorry for both girls, you used one to get out of a relationship with the other and when caught with your "pants" down you are considering the "easy" way out.
Come on. Figure out what you want. Be with the "ex" and ALL that it entails or try the "rebound" girl as a serious GF.
I hope you are smart enough to use condoms from now on, if you aren't sure you want kids with the women you are having sex with. EVERY time.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 January 2015):
This may come as a surprise to you, but some women get so desperate when they are dumped that they will tell a guy they're pregnant to get him back.
If you come back she will have to fake a miscarriage. Sometimes they will blame that on you for all the stress you put them through.
Don't you feel like it's a pretty big coincidence that you were together for seven years and as soon as you broke up with her she became pregnant?
My ex tried this with me and I called her out on her bullshit. "Prove it" did the trick.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 January 2015):
 First I would find out if she's really pregnant or using a common lie to reel you back in. I would look at positive pregnancy tests. You might even doubt the baby is yours so if you feel there's a possibility she slept with someone else you have to ask for a paternity test. Don't worry about the girl at work yet. She's just a coworker who offered you a distraction, an escape and an exit to your last relationship. Your priority is to straighten up your custody issues and your adjustment to a more demanding life schedule. Love will find you so don't be impatient. Tell the girl you will become a dad when you are absolutely sure she's pregnant and you are a dad. You can still be a dad, but not within a family. Just because you broke up with her does not mean you lost the baby to her. She might use this to threaten you, your future happiness but legally you have paternal rights. It's a good start that you love to be a dad. That gives you advantage when you discuss with the court about visitation with your child.
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