| A
female
,
*uke3224
writes: I broke up with my boyfriend a year ago after dating for almost 5 years, because I thought I could find something better. After numerous dates and seeing whats out there, I realized I love him. I wanted him back after 3 months apart, he didn't want me back then because he was in love with his girlfriend at the time, now that they broke up, we started dating again however running into major problems because I am insecure about his feelings for me, I always ask about the other girl. I know I hurt him badly before but how do I get my confidence back that he truly does want to be with me?
View related questions:
broke up, confidence, insecure Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2006): The same thing happened to me. Just cool it for a while, no heated feeling need to be all a flame all at once, it takes a while to get a fire kindling again.
A
male
reader, Mr.Ed +, writes (13 January 2006):
 Sometimes LUV is extremely complicated and yours is no different. Doesn't him actually being with you count for anything anymore? I think you said it best when you said "I am insecure". Does he give you reason to be insecure or are you by nature insecure. You did wrong him and you jumped to the other side of the fence. I guess your answer to your question, lies in your ability to treat him fairly. I'm serious, if he has done nothing wrong other than find another woman; because you told him too, now he's back, because he wants to spend his time with you, and your upset because you question his love/motive, then your being silly. As for this other girl, I tell my fiancee' like this; you can no more stop me from cheating than you can drive a car to the moon and vice versus; however do I really have any reason to cheat. NO! NO! NO! More importantly would I if the situation presented itself. NO! I think people who cheat lack communication with each other. I mean wouldn't I do anything for my woman. YES!
So if their was something she wanted me to give her sexually and I couldn't provide it; then I'm sure my best friend or another of my friends could, however I still demand that it's open and honest. So provided she comes to me and asks for it, we talk about it and she still has those feelings, then I will get it for her. Then I guess one could only say; it's not cheating if I gave it to her. That is out of pure love. (i.e. impedence, pregnancy, castration) So if you relish the idea that he still thinks about the other woman all the time; then he should have never came back to you to begin with. I totally disagree with anonymous below; MEN ARE NOT COMPLICATED/COMPLEX AT ALL. We men really aren't that hard to figure out. We love to have attention (when we want it), we love sex (unless you don't cuddle, ha ha), we love food (that we can pronounce and eat), we love to know everything (but we don't), and we are always right! Now if you can't figure that out then just agree with us and it'll go far enough. I personally like my fiancee' to be just a little bit jealous; makes me feel like I'm attractive (good looking, cute) when another woman looks at me. Honestly, we have a one track mind; If I see a good looking girl while were out, I think I wonder what my girl would look like with her hair/ piercing/ clothing etc.... because my woman already has the personality. I'd rather spend time with someone with a personality than someone who looks great but can't spell her own name. (I used to know this guy named BART who was a chippendale, all the women thought he was hot; he couldn't spell BARTHOLEMU;seriously) So back to your question; when have you ever known a guy to waste his time on something that wasn't important to him. NEVER! (notice I did NOT say important to society). I think he loves you! Have a great relationship.
Sincerely
Ed
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 January 2006): Alot of the feelings you describe are normal,not pleasant,but normal. I've been through this same situation.Men are more complex than they let on,believe me.This other girl could've been in the picture just to spite you.He probably does love you,but doesn't realize the damage he's done to your relationship.You need to ask yourself if you can get past the past & truly be happy with him again. The time spent with another girl may have made him see just how great for him you really are.More importantly,how is he treating you now? If you're not happy,DON'T settle just because you're lonely or miss him,the right guy will come along someday & life will be even sweeter.My current b/f & I went through the same thing (still are) but it gets worse,I'm pregnant & not sure if that's a good reason to stay together. Your spot could be alot worse.If you aren't happy,get out of the relationship now before you make the same mistake.
...............................
|
