A
female
age
30-35,
*he Fool
writes:I miss my ex-gf so much. It hurts. Badly. I'm not capable of doing anything anymore.I was the one who ended it and it felt right at the time. It most definitely broke her heart. I keep telling myself it wouldn't have worked out, she's moving to Tokyo for a year, on the other side of the planet. Knowing that I have now broken her heart twice, I don't even dare looking at her again, but it's painfully obvious that I still love her. I feel horrible, like a total douchebag. It's been two weeks since we broke up, we were together for about two months but had been "dealing" for about a year. What do I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella  +, writes (22 January 2012):
 And this might help?
Maybe the following two articles from Dear Cupid can help you go forward more confidently in the future?
Accordingly here is an article on the power of Positive thinking. It can be done, even when things look bleak.
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/tunnel-vision-positive-thinking---used-to.html
this is an article on Self Confidence from Code Warrior is also worth reading. I think it is an excellent article from Dear Cupid:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-is-confidence-and-how-do-i-get.html
My best wishes to you
Abella
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 January 2012):
Gee this must feel like the utter complete pits to be feeling this bad.
Can you write her a sincere letter, explaining all that you feel and why you think you were wrong, to where she now lives in Tokyo and ask for her forgiveness and ask her if she will consider a Long Distance Relationship with you?
Perhaps even give her an 'out' by telling her that she need not make a decision for another three months on this to give her time to settle in Tokyo and time to reconsider your actions in the light of your letter?
And ask her to then tell you what she wants.
She would still be hurting inside really bad, so she may need some extended think time to mull this over.
In the mean time please take very good care of you. Get thee to the Gym. Keep fit. Eat healthy. Try to read some books on empathy. Volunteer to help some community groups where they help less fortunate people.
Start a journal and write up your thoughts each night
enroll in a course on Commuication
learn a new skill.
Do not resort to parties every night type lifestyle to block out the pain.
Do not resort to risky or dangerous activities to block out the pain.
Just keep on rebuilding you and rebuilding your shattered self esteem while you recover from the guilt of this relationship and your perception (possibly valid) that you broke her heart twice.
We can recover from pain, but it does take a while.
Best wishes
Abella
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