A
male
age
30-35,
*ensativeguy010
writes:Well, i had just broken up with my girlfriend of a year due to the fact that i basicaly "fell out of love" with her. before i actually brokeup with her i had been contemplating on doing it and each week i was more sure that it was the right thing to do because i just felt differently about her these days and would not be fair to her to keep dating when its not what i wanted anymore. So during those weeks of contemplating my Ex girlfriend got in contact with me about my band doing a music video for her college final. My ex is someone who ive always had deep feelings for ever since i met her and no matter who i was with after her I would still have those feelings and would always deep down want to be with her. So once my ex got in contact with me and as we spent days together working on the music video we became close and she admitted that she had feelings for me but understood that my relationship with my current gf at the time was a priority. Fast forwarding a couple weeks i then finaly decided to break up with my current gf. Now, the reason why i need help is because during that whole process of breaking up she didnt really expect it and was completely heartbroken and cried her little heart out on my lap. I felt like the worst person on the planet and it was the saddest thing ive ever experienced.. But at the same time i feel happy knowing that i dont have to deal with the stress of not being in an unfair relationship and that i can start things new with the girl ive always had those feeligns for. I just cant help but still feel horrible for breaking a girls heart... It was the first time ive ever actually broken a heart and i dont ever want to do it again, I just want to know if im a bad person for what i did :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): it's not wrong to break up with someone because you are not interested in them anymore. if staying with someone means having to fake feelings and be a phony (which is basically lying to them), then breaking up with them is the right thing to do.
however it was wrong that you got close to someone else (your ex) before you broke up with your gf.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2012): You're not a bad dude. It happens. What would have been bad would be to stay with her because you're too much of a wuss to break it off, and sleeping with the ex behind her back until she found out. You did it right. It's also very cool how you feel about it. Some guys really don't care about the damage they cause. Your biggest challenge will be cutting her off. Right now you feel guilty, and you'll want to make her feel better about it. That's exactly what you don't want to do. Don't lead her on. Cutting her off will help her to get the distance she needs rather than throwing herself at you or something like that.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): You don't sound like a bad guy. You did her a favor by not stringing her along any longer. You were honest & at least you did it face to face. In a few weeks she'll be doing fine.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 November 2012):
 You are kind of damned if you do and damned if you don't. Yes, it hurts to get dumped, but on the other hand if you had stayed and not really wanting to be there, what would have been the point of that?
Who knows maybe this ex of yours will break yours.. Maybe you will break hers.
It is inevitable that someone gets their feelings hurt when a relationship ends.
And honestly what kind of guy would you be if it didn't feel bad breaking a girl's heart?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): I'm gonna say no even though im sure she thinks your a bad guy. I've broken a few hearts and I'm not a bad lady. In the end remember leaving them was better for them then being with someone who doesn't want to be with them. You should maybe have done it earlier though cause now you look like you just left her for your ex.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2012): The only thing that was mean was you decided to leave her for your ex and while she thought all was well, you were spending time with your ex.You didn't play fair, and no matter what you say, you left her for a better option, hope you made the right choice and if not hope she doesn't take you back if your ex becomes your ex for the second time around.You obviously don't like to be alone, her heart break will heal so just move on and don't repeat past mistakes. Good luck
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (7 November 2012):
 We all have broken hearts and had our hearts broken at some point. She will be fine in time. You aren't a bad or mean guy, just a normal person who wanted to end a relationship that wasn't doing it for you anymore. Better than stringing her along and cheating on her with your ex right? Don't worry about her, she'll move on to the guy who is right for her.
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