A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I need some subjective advice from people who don't know me or my situation. My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday morning, a few minutes before I had to go off to a work shift. I got to work and burst into tears and had to go home, when I got home he was still at my place, making himself breakfast...His excuse for the breakup was that his feelings had 'just changed'...This hurt more than anything because for the last seven months he has been telling me how he cannot wait to marry me, he was rearranging his furniture so we could move in together...any suggestions how love can fade in a week?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2007): You know what...this is very similar to what my guy and I have gone through. He said he couldn't imagine not marrying me and that if he had it his way we'd be together forever...and then he told me he just no longer felt love for me. I guess it's been a few months since that point, and we've certainly had a time with it...at one point I drove 800kms just to visit him for a day, and we have had numerous talks about why things have come to that point.
What I could offer? Well, only what I suppose initially caused hardship to my relationship. It could be that you two are adjusting to a new mode in the relationship, perhaps living closer or no longer attending the same school...any number of those. It could be that his own personal frustrations are bringing him down, making it so that he doesn't appreciate his time making you happy because he feels it is preventing him from making himself happy. It could also be that you yourself are going through some weighty personal dilemnas and at this point he just can't handle it.
I don't want to offer you any advise because I want you to do what comes naturally or what you feel is in your best interests, and I know it's tough. If you want to know how my situation is going, just to give you the heads up on what possibuilities might be in store for you, you can go ahead and message me. Good luck.
A
female
reader, hannieseds  +, writes (5 May 2007):
 Hi there you poor soul..
Something awry is going on with him. This seems very odd if he has been telling you and showing you the complete opposite for the past 7 months. Do you think something could have happened at his work? With his family? Something with a friend? Maybe he is so ashamed of something he has done and thinks it would be easier to disguise it by breaking it off with you instead of telling you? Maybe he is scared of what you will think/say and is taking the 'easy' way out.
I think you need to wait a day or so, of until you think he is ready to talk rationally, and see if you can find out what else is going on with him.
How long have you been together for? Has he said anything like this to you before?
The only way you can truely find out is to talk. So try and get him to open up - you at least deserve an honest answer as to why he has had a change of heart. xxx
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