A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: i have being going out for a lass for 4months it was all good until we started rushing things abit n seeing each other everynight. thats when i started making mistakes n became over protective of her i deleted her male friends numbers of er phone n i even went to the exteme of hackin er facebook page n changin er password n for some reason i kept blamin er when i knew deep down it was all my fault. i pushed er away with out thinkin bout it because i lost sight of wt i should of being doin which was to make her feel loved and caring for er like i did at the start n not be worryin about if she is cheatin on me n being paranoid. after we split up the otherday i have told er what went wrong n how i much i did changed n told her that i am willin to make things right n concentrate more on her bt we both need to comunicate more n give each other the space we need instead of bein with each other everyday of week when we only realy just started a relationship. she seemed disinterested and more bothered about tellin me she is goin to blackpool for a few days n she needs time to think. i dont kno why i changed like that i have never being that type of person.anyways thats what has heppened i just want to know if there is any chance of gettin her back if i do give her the time needed?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (30 December 2011):
Any chance of getting her back? not a shot in hell if i had my say.
you lied
you deleted her friends
you hacked her account
you acted like a child...
use this as a sign that you need to get some therapy on your insecurities and proper behavior with friends and significant others and take the chance to learn and grow adn become a better person.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): You deleted numbers out of her phone and hacked her facebook! That is not protective, it's controlling and abusive, no wonder she seemed disinterested. You may have said that you have changed, maybe you have, but she doesn't and you have to prove you have changed. She seemed disinterested because she is not interested. you broke her trust big time, and in a very short amount of time when talking about a relationship. Personally I think you may have to accept that you blew this one and if when she comes back she does say no she doesn't to try again, move on and learn from this. Also do research as Aunty BimBim suggested, and get help so you don't repeat this behaviour again. Good Luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2011): I would certainly never get back with someone who hacked into my account and even started making edits and changes behind my back! That is a breach of trust.
You've shown her that you are not a trustworthy partner, that you do not have her back, and that this relationship is not a "safe haven" for her. no wonder she's not interested in you anymore. You're lucky she didn't file criminal charges against you, as hacking into people's accounts and deleting/changing their data is against the law.
You can't do anything except let her decide if she wants to stay in this relationship or not.
Personally I think she should stay away from you. You won't truly change unless you experience the consequences of your actions. If she gets back with you, you would be learning that it's OK to do what you did as long as you just beg and say sorry and wait a bit.
Move on, and don't ever do this in your next relationship.
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A
female
reader, Aunty BimBim +, writes (30 December 2011):
Oh my! Deleting numbers from her phone and hacking her facebook is not being 'protective'. You have the wrong word there, what you were doing was abusive. And to try and lay the blame for the problems on her when you knew they lay at your feet is classic behaviour of an abuser.
I am not surprised she seems disinterested in you.
Personally I hope you accept what has happened here as an early warning wake up call, do a little research online on what is considered domestic abuse and try to change your ways.
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