A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i kept asking my husband to be more romantic throughout our 9 years of marriage. 2 months ago he told me that he is too old to change (he is only 38 yrs )and that i should be thanking god for the good life we have. then he moved to another room and did not speak to me since that. i don't know what to do ? please help.
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male
reader, the_phoenic  +, writes (19 February 2011):
so it seems that there is a missunderstanding
that blew up because of your nagging
any ways try to speek to one of his relatives
to tell him that you love him and that you want him back
and tell him what you want from him is simply to be more vocal about his love and that you appreciate what he has/is doing to you
Good Luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe are both 38yrs old, but,we both were over weight then i lost 25kg and he kept on gaining weight,that made me look ten years younger ,i think that made him feel old also because many people commented about it,but for me nothing changed i love him and i would never forget how he made me feel beautiful and confidant about my body when i was over weight.
i can assure you that our relationship was very good and strong .i just don't know what is going on with us.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthere are no hidden parts in my story, and if you think that what he did is only strange,i think it is crazy and i am starting to believe that i do not really know the man i loved for more than ten years.
i admit that i became nagging at the end,but that was after i tried everything else,at first i did for him all the nice and little romantic gestures and i hoped that he will do the same for me,but that never happened.he is very practical and lazy person. i'll give you an example,most of the times when he travels he gets me nice presents ,but on my birthday or our anniversary he does nothing because he always give me presents so any date would not make any difference,he never tells me that he loves me because he knows that i am sure that he does(that is his opinion).
i tried everything;showing,telling,discussing and any other way you can think of.the thing is that i am starting to feel angry because i only ask for some romantic gestures from time to time that would make me feel loved and that would save our marriage and he can do it even if he did not believe that it is necessary but he just would not do it.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2011): if you have been pestering him about it, then probably he's fed up and just wants you to leave him alone.it sounds like he's pretty desperate to be left alone so your relationship must be pretty bad.If the relationship is bad, he won't want to be romantic with you.So you pester him more thus making him more annoyed and fueling the bad feelings in the relationshipit's a cycle.you need to not just ask him to be more romantic. You should look into WHY doesn't he feel romantic towards you? Does he have huge problems with you? Being romantic is not the actual problem, it's the symptoms of deeper problems so try to find that and work on it.38 is not old. maybe he just feels old, if so why? what is the real reason?
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (18 February 2011):
Are there parts of the story we don't know?
It is strange for a man to run for 2 months from his wife just because she wanted him to be more romantic
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2011): Was he ever romantic? Nagging rarely works, the more you ask the more men shut down. I think you should try a be romantic with him, see if you can get him back into your room.
Romance is best if you don't ask for it. There are more important things in life than it, if he is good in the other ways, I would think before you push this too hard.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (18 February 2011):
 You "kept asking", is that the same as nagging him constantly? Maybe he just got tired of listening to the noise. Just what do you mean by romantic? More sex, flowers, thoughtful cards? A nice sit down CALM discussion with helpful ideas would have been the better way to go. Wait until the dust settles and see if he would be willing to DISCUSS this topic. And make sure you explain what you mean by romantic, it can mean lots of things.
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