A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I love my boyfriend. and he loves me too and wud never hurt me. We're both people who think looks don't matter in each other (but criticise our own looks constantly). He calls me beautiful but i think it's that 'i don't love you cos ur beautiful, ur beautiful cos i love u' sort of thing and im not sure if this is bad or good. Who knows. Anyway, my real problem is that i think i'm ugly, because of my weight. Up until the moment i got with him I had no problem with my weight and i was perfectly happy being the size i am. Now i'm concerned. And i made the mistake of asking him if he'd prefer it if i was thinner and he made the mistake of being honest and saying something along the lines of "i'm a man. of course i'd find u more attractive if you lost weight." He did say he found me attractive anyway and wants me to be happy, but umm this totally killed me lol silly me for making him answer honestly. So now in the sex department... I am totally up for doing stuff to him and pleasing him, but I don't like him seeing me, let alone touching me but i feel awful about this. So far i'm at the point where i'm okay with certain things, but full on nudity? No. I won't let him see my "private area" either and i think it's upsetting him. I just think he'll hate what he see's. I'm not sure how to make myself feel better about it and talking to him about it doesn't help.... What can i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey! Thanks to everyone that replied to my question. I really appreciate it and your advice helped a lot. I feel more secure in myself now but i still have a ways to go. I talked to my boyfriend about how i was feeling and he went on and on about how much he didn't mean anything by it and loves me just the way I am. Thanks for all the advice, it made me feel a lot better and i'm sure everything is going to be good.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2008): about 90% of guys like curvygirls, not thin girls, so dont worry!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): It sound like you are not completly comfortable being around each other, which is usual when you first start going out but it usually goes away. My boyfriend and i are completly happy just slobbing around even if we look shit. Are you ready for the "sex department" it is a very physically and mentally demanding thing to do and you are still young
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A
female
reader, xapathyxrebornx +, writes (18 January 2008):
 If your boyfriend loves you for you he wont judge you...
im exactly the same hun, it took me a while to go ful one nude
all i tried to think was hes probably as nervous as i am as he is also very self concious
dont worry everything will be fine, try to relax and if your not confortable him seeing you naked, try at nighttime or undercovers when starting out until you gain your confidence a little bit =] c
message me if you need anything x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): You both say that looks don't matter but it sounds as though you both think they do really.
Although he loves you how you are, you find this hard to believe. I agree that looks don't matter, but if being slimmer would improve your confidence, why not go on a diet?
You are both low in self-esteem. Maybe you could get a book about it and work through the exercises together. This might bring you closer.
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A
female
reader, TELLULAH +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Its the age old mistake that us girls make. We want to ask our partners for the truth, but thats not what we really want to hear. We only want the truth if it's good.
They dont know that though do they?
I asked my Boyfriend one night. "Does my bum look big in this"?
He said joking "Your Bum looks big in everything". Needless to say I cried my eyes out.
Now I dont ask anymore, even though I have lost a stone in weight. He doesn't notice, how much smaller I am.
The truth is, He love's Me for Me. I think that we just have to except that.
XX
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