A
male
age
36-40,
*iggy
writes:Hi,I am in need of some relationship advice!!I broke up from my girlfriend approximately 1 and a half months ago. My relationship with her lasted just short of two years, which for both of us was the longest time we had committed to anyone before. One of the main problems which i believe ended our relationship was trust. I can admit that i became extremely jealous, and my paranoia and insecurities progressively became worse, up to the point where i was accusing my ex of cheating on me.I have no concrete evidence that infidelity had occurred, and i let my suspicions get the worse of me. I however believe their was a reason for me feeling this way. There came a time in our relationship when me and my ex where on the edge of breaking up. My girlfriend at the time was unhappy, and we was arguing constantly, and as much as i tried to sort the relationship out, she gradually drifted away and her personality began to change. She became hurtful and insensitive and she felt she had to lie to me because she assumed i would create an argument. At that time and even now, i question whether there was somebody else.Now we have broken up i spend a significant amount of time questioning about infidelity within the relationship, and i am finding it too difficult to move on. I have read and recieved alot of advice about relationship break-ups, how you need to look to the future and not look to much at the past....but i cannot do this, and i am worried that my fears of my ex not being honest with me will get worse. What can i do?Thanks,Paul
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, DV1  +, writes (21 May 2007):
 I know that this sounds harsh, but she's your ex now. It's over, and done. I know that you're hurting, but you need to remember that you still put your head on a pillow at night. You've(hopefully) got your health, and a plethora of other things to be grateful for. At this point, it's out of your control, and you need to let the past be. You can either choose to let it consume you, or you can move on and make a good life for yourself. Another thing that you need to ask yourself is this: While I'm at home pining over this girl, is she moving on, or is she thinking about me? If she's not, then wasting another thought on her is pointless. At the end of the day, you've still got yourself, so be happy. Time heals all wounds.
DV1
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