A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so my boyfriend and I have been together for quite a while now, but have yet to have sex. It seems as though we are getting closer to us both being ready to take things to the next level. Unfortunately for me, I'm not sure how that will go. We're both virgins, our only experience being through masturbating. For me though, I haven't been able to get much stimulation, if anything at all, through penetration, and it's the same but slightly better with clitoral stimulation. I was wondering if anyone else has had this issue too, and if it got better after having the real thing. I think being able to do this with my boyfriend would be emotionally pleasing, therefore adding to the experience and possible making me more sensitive and pleased by the stimulation, but I'm not too sure if things work like that.I was also wondering what to do if it happens but it doesn't really feel that good. I mean, I've never been stimulated enough to moan, probably because I'm just not very vocal when it comes to pain or pleasure. I think it would be weird to just lie there or smile, haha, but I'm not too sure if faking it is a good idea since it might lead to me having to fake it again and again, therefore never being really satisfied.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHaha, I am well aware that I need to use forms of protection. I've been on birth control for several years, despite not being sexually active, and I now keep condoms around, even though we haven't had sex yet. Thank you though! And I figured faking it would be bad, but I just wanted to know the opinions of others. Thanks for all of the input, everyone.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): First time sex can be troubling and rewarding also. When my boyfriend and I first had sex he wasn't a virgin and I was. So of course we planned it all out and I got the birth control medication from the clinic and he went and got tested to insure he didn't have anything. It was all a go and we found a couple on line sites that didn't seem to bad and sat down and watched it together. After watching it I kind of agreed to let him lead the charge and kinda just gave the nod to a couple of things he was going to try to do to me and hey I wasn't feeling to bad. Oh, yes he did go and buy condoms and put them on for additional protection and more lubrication. Of course we both had showers before and all got cleaned up and my boyfriend turned his bedroom into a real romantic place. Lots of nice scented candles and he had some nice chocolates and we were off to the races to say. The afternoon basically was geared toward me and he gave me lots of oral sex and I felt things I never thought I would feel as a women. He only entered me partially that afternoon but it was a great feeling and I didn't feel discomfort or pain. Later on in the coming weeks I got the full treatment as you say and my boyfriend also got his just deserts to say. What I will never forget for the rest of my life is after having sex he looked at me with those puppy dog eyes and held me tight for quite a long time. This was a truly remarkable experience to me and I never had a man make me feel so complete and loved and wanted before in my life. Good luck on your first time....xxoxo. I hope you can feel what I did also....
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): Maybe you're not getting very much out of it because he's not touching you in places and ways that really get you off. The only way for you to find out what works for you is to do some self-exploration, on your own, when you are relaxed and have plenty of time. Work out what you like, what makes you orgasm, what does nothing for you, and then let your guy know what these things are. If he does something that you like, tell him. It will make both of you happy. If he does something you don't like, don't tell him he's doing it wrong but tell him what you'd like him to do instead. It's hard at first but the more you do it the easier and more natural it will become.
Sex will almost certainly hurt at first but it will get better and better the more you do it. As for showing that you like it, don't moan and scream if it doesn't come naturally to you. Don't underestimate the effect of a little heavy breathing. This will show him that you're genuinely turned on. And definitely don't ever fake it. It's not fair on either of you.
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female
reader, R1 +, writes (27 April 2013):
 It probably won't feel amazing for a while, it takes time to get to know someone sexually and to learn to enjoy sex. Don't worry about what you say or do, as long as you trust each other and take things slowly it will be fine. Your boyfriend knows you aren't a porn star! You don't need to moan or scream, unless you want to lol!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2013): I'm not sure whether having sex with your boyfriend instead of masturbation will increase the sensation because I've never had that problem but it may do. I find sensations are sometimes more intense with my boyfriend.I really hate to say it, but the first time probably won't feel that good. My first time hurt a lot and so did the first few times after that as well. You don't have to be vocal if it's not natural, just do what comes naturally. You should never ever fake it. I did that the first couple of times with my boyfriend and it made him think I liked things that I didn't actually like. Eventually I had to stop faking it because it was just not pleasant for me. Now he's learning what I actually like, so you should definitely not fake it cos it won't work out for you in the lond run. And definitely, definitely don't let your boyfriend do things that you're not comfortable with.Hmm its not too likely that he'll be looking to closely at your face while you're having sex so don't worry too much about your expressions. Just take it easy the first time, be natural, and relax. I hope it all goes well for you :)
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