A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been a happily married man for several years now and I very much love my wife. Her sister has also been living with us for years and I have known her for as long as I've known my wife. The problem is, her sister has gotten hotter and hotter over the years and I keep thinking about her and giving her attention all the time. Like I said, I very much love my wife, but I think I've started loving my sister-in-law for a while now and even more, I am attracted to her like crazy, by her gorgeous looks, by her body, her sensuality, her way of making people smile when around her. She has white soft skin and dark hair, 38E nice full breasts (bigger than my wife's) and she is small and has a thin waist it makes you want to pick her up all the time and hug her. She has green eyes and nice soft, red and full sensual lips that make you want to say "yummy" and kiss her all the time. She is not married yet and she has no serious boyfriend, she only knows a guy who lives far in another city and they only met once for about a week when they went out and they got kinda close, he touched her breasts on top of her clothes and they french-kissed but she's never slept with anyone and she is very old-fashioned and shy and a virgin and wants to keep it that way for marriage.It made me jealous when I saw her going out and hugging and kissing with that guy. Why would it make me jealous if I didn't love her?I don't know what to do, because I love my wife and I enjoy making love to her, I'm not a freak or anything. But I've developed these passionate feelings for her sister, and if she would return them back I'm sure I wouldn't be able to resist. And since we live together in the same house, my sister-in-law is around all the time after she comes home from work. All three of us go together everywhere. She is a very nice person and she loves me as family and she gets along nicely with me as her brother-in-law, we've become so close in all these years as if we were real siblings, not in-laws. But for me, it's more than that. Sometimes my heart is shattered with the thought that I have not married her instead of my wife, but then again I keep thinking how much I love my wife and I wouldn't have wanted someone else to have my wife, either.One time we went to the beach all three of us for a few days and of course when I saw her in her bathing suit I went crazy inside myself. I enjoyed watching her while laying in the sun all three of us, with me in the middle between them. I simply enjoy life when she is around. It's not to say that I don't enjoy it with my wife, on the contrary, I do! But I enjoy everything a lot more when all three of us are together.And I enjoyed watching her beauty everyday when she was laying in the sun next to me and turning both with her face up or down. With my sunglasses on so that nobody would see where I looked, I simply was enjoying her beauty and her body and this filled my soul with life and beauty and made me alive inside.Many times I touch her on her breasts, either by joking around, putting only one of my fingers on her breast or by "pretending" I touched it by mistake. And all the time I give her a nice soft slap on her butt, this is OK with her already. But every time I touch her breasts as mentioned above, she gets mad a little and slaps my hand or my butt. See how close we got? Like siblings.I cannot get enough of admiring her beauty. And this is an impossible situation, of course, with her being a virgin and being my wife's sister.Anyway, this is my story, I am pretty sure that I love my sister-in-law way over my head, and being human and with her being so hot, I reached a point where I also lust for her now. The only way I'll ever be happy is if she continues to live with us, so that at least I can have her in my life and have her fill my heart with the beauty and energy that she generates around her all the time.I love you so much, sis, that I would die for you!
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breasts, jealous, kissing, married man, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2012): You are being completely normal and natural. The problem is more with the institution of marriage which is less natural. Instead of focusing on getting her OUT of the house which would give emptiness to all three involved, what we should be trying to figure out is, wait for it, how to ADD her to the marriage.
This would be a WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN-WIN for everyone. The sister obviously wants/needs to be part of the family for financial or emotional reasons so she WINS. Most wives complain about their responsibilities like all of the housework, keeping their husband sexually satisfied regularly, and responsibility of kids. Her sister can help alleviate all of those responsibilities all while providing her an empathetic listener to her problems that women all crave (and her man will never have a reason to cheat because he's happy unlike now - WIN for her). And the man... lifelong happiness, variety, satisfaction, and company (he'll never have a reason to cheat - WIN). Plus, I think we all could use an extra household income with the economy (see, adapt with the changing times instead of fighting - aren't most marital fights about money?) The kids will have their cousins and aunt living with them and taking care of them (WIN again).
Marriage, being that it is a traditional and outdated institution, is too narrow to efficiently (and legally) handle certain complex human needs and situations, which is why it so often fails and ends in divorce. When obvious, necessary change is needed, a more fluid relationship would lead to more positive outcomes. Sometimes a person (man or woman) should be allowed into it if it would lead to a WIN for all involved. What happens to businesses when the are too stuck in their ways and unwilling to adapt to new situations? They fail. We need to think for ourselves; the Mormans may actually be on to something.
A
female
reader, notguilty  +, writes (14 January 2010):
Well I don't wanna pass judgment on u, I'm only here to give advice to u. So I suggest u tell ur sil to move out but do it in a polite way. And after u have done that, you need to think hard as to whether u really do love ur wife, or u just love her cuz she feeds ur tummy nd gives u a warm bed.love is one thing and comfort is another thing.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Can I just say this - who are you fooling - your wife has to notice these things. She's not stupid. She probably knows exactly what's going on and doesn't want to confront u because she's afraid of what she knows is true. Being the wife of a man who acts the same way toward my younger blonde beautiful sister, I know the pain and heartbreak that ur wife must feel. I feel so sorry for her. Why is it that u feel this way? The best thing for u to do is get her out of ur life and tell ur wife the truth. Things will be emotional and super difficult at first but once you get that younger sister in law out of your life maybe you'll realize why you fell in love with your wife in the first place. I'm sorry that u have these feelings for your sister in law but for your wifes sake get rid of her. Your wife doesn't deserve to be second best. I wish you the best of luck with your marriage...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2008): I am too and I know the reason why. Because they are so alike. My wife has a twin sister, they are so beautiful and full of life. Since I am in love with my wife I think It is normal that I am attracted to her twin sister, at least I hope it is normal. Yet I will never do anything stupid to hurt her or her sister. You cannot do anything that you want or you think that you want to do. I am not a psychiatrist maybe you need to see one, perhaps me too. And don't feel so bad about it because my wife confessed me that If I had a twin brother she would have been in love with him too. Good luck and do not do anything stupid.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): That's so sad. I feel very sorry for your wife. She deserves better.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2008): mate, everyone fantasizes bout other people, its normal, and anyone here who says it isnt is lying, and its natural for you to be attracted to someone so close to someone your love. but i think your hurting yourself, your wife and this girl if you keep thi up, either get away from her or leave your wife and her, but either way you can never do anythng with her. thats the truth, even if you get adivorce, just dont do anything.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2008): I was in the same situation some time ago and it's o.k. Don't feel bad about your feelings. It's normal for a man to be attracted to a woman. You are right in saying that what matters is what you actually do about your feelings.
Just ask your S.I.L. to move out. Distance is the best medicine to clear this kind of feelings. Then concentrate in your relationship with your wife.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2007): God you're a piece of work. How would you feel if your wife kept lusting after your brother and talked about how much bigger his penis was than yours? Wouldn't be too happy, would you?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2007): Forget the wife and go for the sister. You will never know what you missed out on. Think how great it would feel to nail the sister. Do what gratifies you most, and forget the fundies, they are all a bunch of boring old farts sitting around wishing they could do all the stuff they say "Thou shalt not" do! Good luck man, I hope the sister will go for it!
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female
reader, Arriella  +, writes (5 September 2007):
 You are just another guy misreading friendship...it happens often.You should have her move out, because i bet if she knew how you felt she'd leave...and it would cause a strain on her relationship with her sister. Stop fantasizing. You are your own worst enemy. Step up...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): Sorry to tell you, but you do NOT love your wife. If you loved her you'd have distanced yourself from her sister long ago. And, like someone else pointed out, you're not fooling anyone. It's clear that you want to have sex with this woman. Pal, you need to shape up, get your head on straight, and tell this woman to move the heck out of your house. You also need to devote yourself completely to your wife and get these lustful thoughts out of your head. If you can't stop lusting after this woman, then distance yourself from your wife. She deserves better than you. How would you feel if your wife constantly lusted after your brother?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2007): You say you love you wife. I don't see how you can when all you have waffled on about is your sister in law. You haven't commented on your wife's looks, figure or bust once!! You want to be ashamed of yourself and get some professional help. Who on earth prods/pokes their wife's sisters boobs and slaps their bum!?Your not kidding anyone by saying that you dont want to sleep with her either, it obvious you do!! Your sister in law doesn't sound like a full shilling anyway to live with you and your wife for so long it's about time she gets her own life and stops playing gooseberry! Don't want to sound too harsh but you asked for opinions.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2007): Hi. I am the one who originally posted this question here.To answer the anonymous male reader who asked me how old is my sister-in-law: She's not 18, she's in her early 30s. Not much younger than me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): How old is this sister in law you're talking about anyways? I get the impression she's like 18.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): You just answered your own dilemma. These are your very own, deep, hidden feelings and 'only' your feelings. But there is absolutley no maturity, wisdom and clarity used with these feelings are there. Not even a hint of compassion for your wife, family or this young sister's feelings. No one else's. So yes, "you will suffer for this for the rest of your life living with the feelings that can never be discovered" That's just the way it is, hun. Good to see you figured that out.
However, you stated "I don't think it's wrong to have feelings. Feelings develop naturally and one cannot control who they develop for". Sigh...I am sooo tired of adult people copping that plea, implying that they are somehow different..justifying their inappropriate feelings because they 'just can't help it'. Of course you can help it..sheesh! Think with some rationale and use some common sense, guy! Because right now, your 'feelings' stand to get you into a sh*tload of trouble, don't they? You are not the first older dude to lust after a young, attractive woman. But what's happening here, is your feelings are controlling your actions and behaviors. You have been rubbing up against her breasts and trying cop little gropes off this young female. This is disturbing. As a man of 36-40, surely to god, you have the maturity to rein in your over active imagination and out of control libido to restrain yourself from such disrespectful behavior to this younger female.
When it comes to us adults, I believe we are the sum total of all that we do. (what we do is who we are) This is true because as adults, we are looked upon to be the older, more wiser, person and we are held accountable for our actions, as a result. So when you try to rub up against this sister, and 'ooops! accidentally touch her breast, your actions are describing your inner self, what evil you are willing to perpertrate just to get your self-involved thrills and jollies, at the expense of her self-respect. So stop this 'attitude' that you feel entitled to lust after her. Because sir...you are absolutely not entitled. We are talking about another female, who will never give you the time of day..and stands the chance of being embarrassed, shamed and scarred by a man, who can't get his thoughts under control. You are on a slippery slope here and I am deeply concerned about this young woman's safety, from your inappropriate behaviors which could go over the edge, someday. You stand to lose a lot from this stupidly inane, immature behavior. Remember, your actions are truely the blueprint of your real character.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): You're not fooling anyone when you said you don't want to have sex with her..You know you want to have sex with her. You touch her breasts and her but. You said you lust for her. You said you stare at her in her bikini. You talk about her "yummy" sensual full red lips, and how you want to kiss her all the time. You talk about her full breasts. You say how hot she is and that "I've developed these passionate feelings for her sister, and if she would return them back I'm sure I wouldn't be able to resist." You even mention how you wish you'd have married her instead of your wife! Give us a break o.k., if you're going to write things like that don't turn around & say that you don't want to have sex with her because we all gtold you it isn't o.k.to have sex with her. What else do you want us to say? It seems as though you're looking for someone to say it's totally cool, and that your wife will be fine with it, and that you can continue to be with your wife, but also have sex with sis in law. You need to be realistic. This woman is a virgin who is saving herself for marriage. I doubt her sister's husband tops her list of people she'd want to lose her virginity to. You need to go seek help because you seem to think that you have the right to touch her breasts & ass and that it will lead to more. That is totally inappropriate of you to do.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): Hi. I am the one who originally posted this question here. First of all, I already know it is wrong to want my sister-in-law so much. Secondly, I don't think it's wrong to have feelings. Feelings develop naturally and one cannot control who they develop for. It is just our own duty to control what we do about those feelings once they appear.
Then, to answer to the second anonymous female reader who answered me that I already posted this a few days ago - it is not true. Today is the first day when I posted this question. And my sister-in-law's breasts are not fake, neither saggy. She is natural. Also, I do not want to have sex with my sister-in-law, I respect her for saving herself for marriage.
Anyway, I know that this looks like a pressure cooker with the whistle blowing, I know that it is wrong to make a move on my wife's sister. I won't do that, I value my marriage too much and I also love my wife too much.
My only question was how does one deal with something like this. I think I am capable of having feelings for two women at the same time and I will suffer for this for the rest of my life living with the feelings that can never be discovered...
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A
female
reader, skye +, writes (24 August 2007):
 You must ask your sister-in-law to move out. Imagine how upset your wife would be if she found out? Or if her sister found out? Believe me, she would be horrified that the man she trusted and cared for as her brother would harbour these feelings for her. This is an unfair situation for anyone to be in.
You say you love your wife. Eell if you had any true feelings for her you would try your best to distance yourself from this situation and work on your rtelationship with her....remember, shes is the woman you made vows to at an alter infront of witnesses!
I also agree with eyeswideopen that it is not usual for a husband to be having these feelings towards his wifes sister. You could loose EVERYTHING here. Make better use of your time by spending it with your wife and making her the most important person in your life.
If you are still experiencing these feelings for her sister after she has found alternative accommodation then you need to speak with a professional. Your family is at serious risk should you allow this behaviour to continue.
Skye
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (24 August 2007):
 Wowie, you need to talk to a therapist, something is rattling around in there, Buddy. If you really do love your wife you'd ask Sis to find a place of her own. Sounds like the pressure cooker is whistling to me. Make an appointment with counseling before something happens you'll regret the rest of your life. I'm not kidding.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): Dude, you sound like a total psycho. You touch her breasts & pretend it was an accident & then she gets mad at you for it, but you see that as it's OK like you're siblings?? Siblings don't molest eachother, & if they do it's not OK. You say that she has "38E nice full breasts (bigger than my wife's)" Who the hell cares? So her overly large tits are a reason to like her more than your wife? They're probably either fake, or extremely saggy b/c they're so big. You posted this question a few days ago with less detail, and it appears that you haven't gotten the answer you were looking for, so you're trying again. No one is going to tell you it's ok to f**k you wife's own sister. So get a life. And your closing sentence "I love you so much, sis, that I would die for you!" That is just too freakin weird. I wish this woman knew what a stalker perv you were. What you should do, but I know you won't b/c you're thinking with your penis, is to talk to your wife & tell her that you think it'd be best if her sister moved out. Otherwise you are going to cross the line & nothing good is going to come of that. Just wait, and remember what all of us are telling you: it's going to be a disaster!! I can't wait until you screw yourself over & find out.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2007): She dosen't like you back, she slaps you away when you touch her, is that a big enough hint? If you do make a move on her, she will go to her sister and tell her. She's saving herself for her wedding day, what makes YOU think she's going to sleep with her sister husband!
You should try and get your wife sister to move out if she's such big temptation and if you love your wife so much, decent thing to do.
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