A
female
age
36-40,
*herrybomb101108
writes:Im 23 Im having a really hard time getting over my ex finacee. I was with him for a 1 1/2.We loved each another very much but he had some insecure issues. I let my mother get into my head and i left him with a ring in hand and a broken heart. We were both hurt. I loved him very much as a friend and lover. We were each other first. (We gave each other our viginity's)Well Iv been with a new guy for a year now we just had our 1 year anny in Oct. Its a perfect relationship i love him so much :)Well i have a problem with letting the past go. I hold on to memories really tightly. I just recently found out my ex finacee is with someone new. When i saw pixs i started to get emontional. Its like a part of me still wants him or something, like i still love him....I dont know how to let go of the past and i dont know how to know its ok for others to be happy after you....I dont know whats wrong with me :( I need advice.... Please dont yell at me :( Its my first time going though emontions like this... Im very happy with my current lover. Has anyone ever gone though this before? How did you handle it....
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female
reader, Bear2501  +, writes (3 November 2009):
Hi Cherrybomb!
Ive been through the same situation only I wasnt engaged but may aswell have been married lol. We were together 5 years and I left him... very hurt and it was hard to do it but it wasnt right at the time i needed space 5 year relationship so young was hard... Im with my current boyfriend 2 years and i still look at my ex's facebook (we are good friends-im not a stalker lol) and feel something when i see pictures of him with his new girlfriend.
I think its just when u think you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone and then u break up, you'll always remember the happier times and the what if's. You still care about this person, obviously because you wouldnt have had a relationship with them otherwise.
I think its natural to feel the way u do. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): this is my personal opinion, but you could just be dealing with another part of the hurt you already went through. me and mf ex broke up 8 months ago. we were our first loves, and lost our virginities to each other all of that, and we stayed clsoe after we broke up, not sure if that was bad or good, but it sounds like you love your boyfriend now, and if youre happy, you have to realize that he wants to feel the same way, you arent together for a reason, he had some changes to make, and he learned from you. jsut think of it as you helped him. i took that from my girlfriend. i was hurting for a long time and kinda still am. its hard especially when thinknig of good memories and all that. but its something you need to let go so you can focus on your new love and let that blossom. its hard to do but you gotta be strong and realize he wnats to be happy jsut like you. you will always love him, he was your first. which makes it the hardest. stay strong, and let him go. as hard as that sounds it jsut has to be done. hope i helped
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2009): don't fret. everything will be okay. I've gone thru something similar my ex and I where in a deep love. she was murdered. I will always have love for her but I am in love with someone else. she will always hold a place in my heart. it sounds like you will always have love for this guy but you are in love with someone else. some time will pass and those feelings will dwindl. he will soon be a memory and you might still have those feelings but your feelings for someone else will be stronger. and for future reference never let someone else tell you how you feel or what's right or wrong for you. noone else will ever know what will make you happy only you know. follow your feelings and don't let anyone else no matter who they are try to interfere with them. goodluck and take care :)
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