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I am very confused

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 16 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age , anonymous writes:

I am very confused my boyfriend left me just before christmas after 11 years moved out and moved straight in with another girl who has a child of 6 yrs old and we were due to go to st lucia for christmas.

he is giving half the money so gave me a bit in jan a bit in feb and the final to be next week, when he came in feb he was crying and cuddled me and said how much he miseed so i said come back he said he cant and didnt say why.

he been texting me at least once or twice a week since jan but in feb when came around the week before he text me 12 times. also he used to put smiles at the end of texts and know it is kisses

i saw this friday as i was driving up the road and he was coming down the otherside he flashed me and we both stopped and had a talk i asked him if he would ever come back and he said probably not which i suppose he trying to say but NO but im still not sure he means this he walked me to my car and kiss me on the lips i drove off he then text to say drive carefully then he rung and left a message saying he was worried as i drove off at high speed and then he text again saying am i okay i just replied YES i was so hurt by this as i thought there might be hope.

They say that people who move straight with someone it doesnt work. I suppose i have to put him to oneside and move on and if he comes back its a bonus as i did say to him he could come back anytime. do you think there is hope for me ?????.

i think he is having a breakdown or a mini one as he keeps changing also i got made redundant in oct and his mother second husband left her and she at the time had breast cancer and was in and out of hospital so beteween the two i dont think my boyfriend could cope i feel if i dont txt him and just await his txt he might realise of the mistake. we always got on and our relationship was great.

i feel at the moment like it is a breavement im crying well writing this .

View related questions: a break, christmas, money, move on, moved out, text

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

Hi, please do not wait for him to leave this other person. while you wait your life will be on hold and you would have lost the best years of your life. He may still care for you but not in love with you. He is giving you mixed signals.

11 years is so long, i feel for you so please be strong during these difficult days. With him moving on so quickly would indicate that he was involved with this woman before you split. Perhaps he is feeling guilty at leaving you after 11 years but he told you that he is not coming back.

Yes you are pining for him- cry your tears as you mourn the loss of this relationship. Slowly try to move on, expand your circle of friends and slowly hear from this devastation.

You will survive this and you will be the stronger person after you heal. You will get through this, it's early days yet but you will. Have faith in your ability to survive this brake up. Be strong.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2009):

I am so sorry! They say God will never give us more than we can handle...but sometimes I think God may expect too much of us! I don't understand why things happen the way they do. All I know is we have to keep going and even though it seems impossible at times,we do get through it!

You will too! Be strong. Cry as much as you need to. It is a grieving process. Try to begin to do special things just for you. Take care of yourself, pamper yourself. Take comfort knowing that this is all about him...not you!

Now it is time to take care of yourself. You deserve it.

I wish you strength and comfort, always!

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