A
male
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anonymous
writes:I am 20, I have been with my girlfriend now for 2 months and it is starting to get serious. The problem I have now is that I have a porn addiction that I want to get rid of. I've tried to get help on it but when I told my counsellor about it (who was a women) she seemed to avoid the subject and never mentioned it even when I tried to talk about it again. I also don't want to buy a CD or downloadable program from the internet as I don't want my parents to find out I have this problem. Can yone give me advice on what to do, I'm currently trying to do cold turkey (1 day at the moment) but since I have found free porn before, it is likely that I will fall into that trap again.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2007): what u can do is concentrate on other things in life like spend time with your gf then on computer to watch porn and when ever you think of porn quickly take your mind of it and think about anything else hope tht idea helps you,
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone. I've got an idea on how to stop watching porn. every day i'll pay myself £1 when i don't watch porn. if i cannot even do that il "de-grade" by going down to softcore porn and then nothing. its been 3 days already and not been interested in looking at hardcore stuff (which is fairly predictable and all the same)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): if the man answering below says it can spice up a dull, joyless relationship perhaps he should try putting the energy into his relationshi rather than the porn....porn has so many issues that its not funny.......the only way any man can overcome porn use s to learn resect for women......
Although men who use porn wil claim to respect women, it is impossible to respect a group of people whilst simultaneously supporting the disrespect of them....and Im not talking about the specific women in the movies...Im talking about all women in the community who bear the consequneces of porn!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): I watch Porn,but I don't have an addiction to Porn nor do I see it as black or white,or right or wrong, It can be helpful in spicing up a dull, joyless,sexual relationship. The best thing to do for any addiction is to find something better to do with your time.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2007): Quitting pornography is not easy, you would need to be strongly determined and also you need to be able to carry on with that. Also the your personal war against porn would be lifelong.
You can visit experts and there are some good sites like http://www.throughtheflame.org which provides support to all those affected by porn.
I have been a porn addict myself and by my experience the sooner you decide to stop watching porn the better it is because if you keep prolonging this it will get harder to get rid of it.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2007): Try reading a book called "In the Shadow of the Net". It tells it like it is and will make you feel better about your problem as well as help you find out about the situation as it really is. You could consider seeing a registered sex therapist – I would in your place. In fact I did for another reason, and her kind are brilliant. there will be a official national organisation (name escapes me). It will help you to understand why you have this addiction/what made you susceptible in the first place. While you are looking for your new reality, you may like to see the nasty reality of the porn industry; the facts and the human cost. People don’t care much about other people these days and our society encourages us to separate out our own actions from any consequence that affects other people. You can already see from personal experience that it robs people of the chance of real intimacy. It is the same as being addicted to burgers or fast food. It fills you up quickly but does not sustain your hunger for acceptance and real love. That is the real food of life, not this con of pornography which is not real life. The porn stars themselves find they can not sustain real relationships. I bet they did not dream that in exchange for this career they would sell out from the chance of that wonderful opportunity of falling deeply in love. Most of them never manage to settle down into relationships that are not abusive, that’s it, chance gone. And it is not even as though it is for anything that is essential to maintain life like enough water, food or air. It means nothing yet it takes over lives and spoils them with obsession and guilt. It takes people’s focus away from things that matter fundamentally such as their families and loved ones.The industry encourages people to spend emotional currency without even realising it. Why should the people that make the real money from these films care? I think they should, but I can’t make them - if they had deep and caring souls they would not be in that industry. Imagine Gandhi selling porn?!When you research sex therapists see if you can find one who coaches in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, which is very good to help people change their thought processes and overcome addictions. Consider confiding in your parents if you need financial help. This is a modern problem reaching epidemic proportions and you are not alone. Who knows, maybe one day you will be able to help people through it yourself. There is nothing like real tough experience to make a rounded person and you could turn this around into a new wisdom and humanity. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (18 December 2007):
 Ask for a refund from the counsellor. Can't do what it says on the tin!
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