A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I feel like I'm going crazy or have some kind of personality disorder. I am totally paranoid that the guy I'm with is somehow deceiving me. There was only one instance that he betrayed me trust, it was minor but still made me uneasy and now I just can't shake it. It wasn't cheating -it was a lie but it was a lie about something he knew would upset me which is why he claims he lied, so I wouldn't be upset with him. Nevertheless, my trust plummeted.I beleive i'm like this because the last guy I was with had been lying to me all along and I gave him the benefit of the doubt and believe him until a gut feeling told me he was lying so I followed my gut and proved to be right. Now, because of this I feel like this other guy is doing it and I have absolutely no trust. Any time I'm not with him I beleive he is out with someone for dinner, or talking to someone even though he spends most evenings with me. The minute he says he went somewhere, or left work early my first reaction is that i'm being deceived. I don't share all this with him of course but its driving me nuts. Another part of it is that he never quesions anything I do or anywhere I go and seems like he could care less. He's been cheated on and lied to so I dont' know where he gets the strength to trust again because it happened to me once and I can't get a grip. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Reebe  +, writes (29 March 2007):
 Hello
To start with he doesn't question you because he believes you that you are going to do what you say your going to do.
So I wouldn't worry about that.
You need to stop doubting your boyfriend he told you a white lie and I think we're all guilty of that at some point, he probably did lie just to protect your feelings.
If you continue in this cycle not only is it really unhealthy you will end up making a mess of your relationship. If you think you can try talking through all of this with your bf and he might be able to reasure you about some of the things that your worried about.
If you feel you can't, you could try some sort of therapy to try and resolve some of these feelings you have. Everyone has some sort of insecurities so don't think your nuts!
It just takes time to build up trust with someone especailly when it has been broken by someone before.
It takes time be easy on yourself and until your bf does something that really abuses your trust you have to try and have some belief in him.
I hope this helps.
Good Luck!
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