A
male
age
36-40,
*riplej05
writes:I had gone a while without a girlfriend, but there was this one girl(Jennie) that I had liked for a couple years now. I had met her through one of my best friends(Pat), and pretty much had a crush on her. I had come close to making a move and asking her out a few times, but she always seemed to bring up her old boyfriend I guess, who she still occasionally hung out with. On top of that Jennie also hooked up with one of my friends at a party one night. With these two things, I never ended up asking her out. Slowly we just stopped talking and would just hang out on occasion since we did share a best friend, but no real conversations between us. So I decided it was time to move on.Now, I have been in a relationship with my current girlfriend(B) for about 2 and 1/2 monthes now and things have been going pretty well. I also met her through Pat. Recently, Jennie has worked her way back into the main group of people I hang out with, and my feelings haven't changed. The other week I was at a party, when B was away, with Pat, Jennie, a few other people. During the party, Pat calls me over wanting to talk and he seemed pretty down. He tells me that Jennie actually does like me which kind of suprises me.Now I have no idea what to do. I like them both a lot and have no idea what to do. And after I found out this news, all I can think about are the flaws of B and how great it would be to be with Jennie. Another thing I have to factor in is if I were to leave B for Jennie, it would ruin B's relationship with Pat and possibly mine with Pat as well. I really have no idea what to do here and keep going back and forth. It seems either way I go their will be large positives and negatives on both sides.Do you have any suggestions on what to do here or how to go about going in either way? Thank you in advance for your help.
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female
reader, korculan queen  +, writes (16 March 2008):
Well maybe write a list of pros and cons of both girls and go with your heart. I mean if you like this other girl then you need to break up with your girlfriend and tell her that you like someone else. Then give yourself a little rest and then pursue the other girl. This other girl though might not be a long time girl but a good time girl. It can be hard but I suppose who are you most attracted to? If you were put in a situation where you were alone with this other girl do you think you would make a move? Definitely do not cheat on either one but write the list and then write a list of what you want in a girl and what you do not want. Then with the first lists of both girls pros and cons study it with your list and see who scores the highest. At the end of the day you have a girlfriend and you need to be honest with her and yourself mate. Life is too short to miss opportunities. It is up to you. Keep smiling mate.
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