A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, Right the brief version if this, met guy 19, fall for each other, then he got married, had affair, I broke it off, now I am with someone else, so is he, but his left the girl, wants to be with me, I want him as well, as never loved the guy I am with, his rebound, but is lovley, guy (one I love) he wants to move in, get a flat, but I am sacred it is all words, also, how do I tell my friends and family etc, as they all hate him for how he treated me last 3 years, but I love him and have always wanted to marry him and have his kids, in 10 years that has not changed, right, so how do I do it, I mean the guy I am with now, he thinks I love him and stuff, but I have told him again and again, that I might not be with him in future, as he has kids as well and I am moving to Scotland to do nursing course anyhow in few years, but how do I handle this, I mean let's say me and love of life, get a flat in a few weeks, do, do it, how to tell guy I am with now, what do I tell all my friends and family who hate him. I was thinking that re current boy, tell him I am going to live with friends somewhere and that we should part now, then that't it, re family and friends, that it is my life and I am 29 so it's my decison I just do not want to hurt anyone Thank you xx
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 You and the ex are quite a pair for the last ten years you two have cut a wide swath of broken hearts. Getting married and having an affair leading to divorce. Moving in with a guy that you don't love using him as a hold over. Shacking up with a rebound. Then you have the nerve to tell us you don't want to hurt any one so you are going to go tell some lies. You're toxic. You should come with a warning label. My advice to you is to stop having relationships.
FA
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): "I just do not want to hurt anyone"But you will, beginning with the so-called "rebound guy" whom you have been stringing along all this time with promises of love...in your words "I mean the guy I am with now, he thinks I love him and stuff, but I have told him again and again, that I might not be with him in future, as he has kids as well"... You might have not been able to project a future together,but you have given him reason to believe that there is a chance for the two of you when all along waiting for your ex to come back to you. Now that he has, you are ready to drop everything at the drop of a hat against better judgment and the advise of your family, and turn a blind eye to the fact that he was the one who betrayed you once! You know what, like you say you are 29 and will do what you want, just let this poor guy go find someone who truly loves him and can see a life with him and his children.--g
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): First off dont assume that you have a right to ask your friends and family to accept this guy. you dont, he has treted you like crap, hes treating his current gf like crap and you want to be with him. To be honest that says more about you than it does about him.
You say your planning on going to scotland in a few years. why dont you do yourself a favour and go now.
I think your family and friends would be happier for you to do that than move in with this guy.
What makes you so sure he wont cheat again?? If your answer to that is he says hes changed well youd be stupid to believe him.
If I were you Id let the guy you are with down gently, he deserves to be loved. Id tell your ex he had his chance and Id start valuing yourself and go to scotland as soon as possible.
You havent met the love of your life yet, if you had you wouldnt ever wonder if moving in with them was the right thing to do.
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