A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am struggling with the feeling that my husband is cheating on me. I feel like just when I finally get myself to a good place where I feel reassured again, something always happens to throw me back into deep suspicion. I feel like I am crazy. He stares at women when I am with him, unapologetically. I consistently find out about women he is "friends" with at work long after he has been close with them for months, and he refuses to really be open about his relationship with them, and what they are like. Even though he spends a lot of time with them. This might sound stupid, but last week he wanted to take a shower before we had sex, and then he couldn't get hard while we were doing it (usually a sign that he has already had an orgasm that day). A few days before that, I found a hair on his penis that wasn't mine. He refuses to really reassure me that he is not cheating. He won't talk to me about things. I want OUT when things like this start happening. Do you think I'm nuts? Is this all very irrelevant stuff? Help please...
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2010): I don't think you are overreacting, all these little incidents are pretty good signs that he is cheating, especially if there has been a major change in behaviour. He clearly wants to keep up the cheating for as long as he can, by trying not to mention it or allow you two to talk about it. It sounds like he has something to hide. It is possible that this could all be a misunderstanding, so make sure you are looking at all the possibilites for his behaviour.
However, I have been in a relationship where it turned out I was just one of three women the guy was involved with, I always thought he was a bit suspicious and ignored my instincts, it went on for months before he slipped up and we all found out aboout each other, and it caused alot of hurt.
What you do next is up to you, because you are in a marriage and that can be extreamly hard to walk away from, but you seem unhappy, and if this man is being so dishonest with you, and you are not getting sex or conversation, what are you really getting out of the relationship? you might find you are better leaving, and finding someone who actually respects you.
All the best! I hope things work out for you!
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