A
female
age
36-40,
*nk0204
writes:I have been with My fiance since I was 15, I'm 22 now and he is the only person I have ever been intimate with, we have 2 daughters and I'm 35 weeks pregnant with our first boy. recently, he broke up with me for about a month, he told me during that time he was seeing somebody else(his first love)and they had sex. I forgave him and we got back together, still sometimes I feel like he really wants to be with her and maybe he is still talking to her. I often feel that way because sometimes I don't feel the affection I thought I would from him. He says it was nothing and that he doesn't love her and she can't compare to me...I am so hurt and even though I forgave him I am so obsessed on the situation. What do I do?
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female
reader, knk0204 +, writes (21 February 2007):
knk0204 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell when we broke up, I am the one who threw him out, we were just arguing all the time he tried to stay but I wouldn't let him, so when I told him to come home it was his pride that wouldn't bring him home, he's says that I pushed him away and hurt his pride. I have never heard of him cheating on me before, he's the one who told me about what was going on, he said he felt like he needed to be honest with me, he tells me that he is no longer seeing her and that if he was to continue he would stop seeing me all together, because that he would not play with my heart. This girl lives 3 hours away from us in our hometown(he was staying with his grandma)he asked me to forgive him. He told me that we needed to work on bettering our relationship...and that he wants to finish what we started meaning marriage. we have been offically engaged since last March, and planned to get married on my birthday this year...7/07/07...I do love him dearly and can imagine us growing old together.
A
female
reader, xxxsoulsistaxxx  +, writes (21 February 2007):
 I don't blame you for being obsessed: he committed the ultimate betrayal against you! You need to decide whether you made the right decision in taking him back. If he left you to be with this woman, even after you'd given him 2 beautiful children, does he really love you? Does he care for his family or just himself?
If he's still having doubts about you two, he will be distant but he needs to sort himself out. You are about to have another baby and he can't mess you around like this. If he wants to stay, he has to start being supportive, stop seeing this other woman (if he is doing) and start acting like a father and not a selfish little boy.
I really think you need to think about yourself and your children right now. They will pick up on all your hurt and distrust and it's not fair on them. You're not happy either and life's too short for all this. I don't think 'the one' could do that to you, I think he's ruined the trust forever. Maybe spend some time apart while you get your head together, even see a counsellor if you think it will help.
Once you become stronger and more inependent, I think you'll see that you don't need him and he can be a good dad without being ouyr partner. I know you love him, you must do to forgive him for this, but I have to wonder when love turns into blind following of someone, no matter what they do. Can you honestly say he's the one you will be happy to spend the rest of your life with after all he's put you through?
If you want to work this out, it can be done but it will take time and you both have to want it. If he's having doubts and being distant, I don't think he can be ready to sort these problems so talk to him and find out. If he's not, walk away for you and your childrens' sakes.
Good luck
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