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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: My bf looks at other girls in front of me and that makes me very sad and uncomfortable. He also browses for naked girls on the net... and constantly buys porn magazines and videos. It really bothers me! I have told him about it but it just seems like he doesn't care. He was not like this in the beginning of our relationship. Is he tired and bored of me? I really get depressed, and the situation gives me headaches(literally). When I am in bed he gets up really early, and he's already on the net searching for chicks. With each and every single click of the mouse, I get more and more emotionally frustrated and my heart beats really fast. I am so jealous and upset about this. But I don't know what to do :( Am I over reacting?
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female
reader, lola16182  +, writes (24 November 2009):
wow this guy is a jerk. the fact that he is doing it in front of you too shows he has no respect for you. I am thinking he is keeping you around so he has something while he is in search of his next girlfriend online. or maybe he is already involved with someone else, hard to say.
I think u need to get rid of him, do u want your whole life to be miserable like this? He will probably plead with you that he can change, dont believe!!! Men very rarely change. they have to dedicated, go to therapy, and it takes a long time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionjust now, he was searching for chat rooms and I saw a picture of a girl in her panties and bra. It looked like a singles chat for people to get together. I knew he looked at those kind of things, but he never looked at single cites right in my face. I feel so stupid and worthless. I asked him if he's looking for a gf, he said no. But I just can't believe he did that. I tell him things he does that hurt me and all he does is blame me and try to bring up the past about us. WHY is he doing this to me? Can't he just tell me he doesn't want to be with me? Because honestly, I don't want anything with him anymore, but it hurts me & I just can't say anything to him right now. I'm crying and he's the reason, I don't think I deserve this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers! I don't see how I might be boring him. And I have watched porn with him, so I did give it a chance even though I have never been into that. It's not like I said no to him when he asked me to watch porn with him. I just don't watch porn with him anymore because I see it being an obsession for him. And I see that disgusting and boring. I'm not used to this behavior from any man and it's really not healthy for me. I would understand if he watched porn once in a while, but that's just not the case. I don't mean to be judgmental, but I'm not going to ignore my feelings towards this situation although I wish it were that easy to just ignore. Everything he does on the computer has to do with girls and it shouldn't bother me? I'm sorry but I'm beautiful and sexy, so if anything he's the one with the problems, not me. And I really don't desire him anymore because of his behavior. it's hard to enjoy someone when they are so careless towards you about your feelings. He searches for girls on myspace, single sites, porn sites, just ANYWHERE he can look at naked females and young girls most of all! If he knows it bothers me, why does he keep doing it??? He adds them to myspace and i ask him about it. He says he adds them to save cute glitter graphics. HU? can't he just type glitter graphics in the search? DUH! And why does he add them if their pages are not private? He can just save the glitter graphics and not add. I wasn't born yesterday, I own a myspace as well. What's his problem? I even made a fake myspace before and added some fake nude pics. on there. I messaged him saying hi and i mentioned I was horny. Just to see the kind of response I would get. He wrote back that he wishes he could cuddle with a girl like me(meaning the girl from the pics.!) How can he do that to me? I just feel like he doesn't love me because of the way he acts. When we have sex it's just not the same anymore. I can't even have sex with him because already I'm thinking that he's imagining other women. That's torture for me! Also, when we have sex I'm always the one who touches him, etc...but I get left out and he ignores my breasts and butt. It was never like that before, and I need to have my whole body caressed. How can a man ignore breasts??? It's just not acceptable. And do you ask someone, "do you want me to eat you out"? or do you just do it to your gf if that's what you want to do to please her and also enjoy yourself? It's such a turn off that he asks me that! I never ask him if he wants a blow job, etc. I just do it for him. We live together and we are together 24/7! I knew it would make our relationship suffocating, because even after a couple of months I just couldn't take it. He just doesn't do anything to please me, yet he always wants his needs getting met. HUH? What's up with that?!? When we watch movies he's always making dumb a** sexual comments about the girls in the movie and it's just so annoying! Even when we have a conversation, we can't even have a normal conversation without him using the words pu**y, A**, D**k, just anything sexual. Why does he act this way?!? If he acts like this then he should at least please his gf rather than looking at other girls. I'm right here, i'm not invisible!
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A
male
reader, vladtess  +, writes (21 November 2009):
OK. I will tell you the sad truth first: He is bored. He is bored not because you are boring, but because he is bored. Seems that you love him and if you want him to stop this you need first, to make it fun for him again. Maybe there is something that he is missing out of your relationship (or sex). You should look at what he is looking at and maybe try to imitate that. There is a thresh hold however, and that is when you are doing everything possible to make him get off the porn sites. If he still ignores you, you may have to start thinking about what he might be ignoring you about in the future (kids, first house, etc). When a relationship is going well, both parties care and compromise with each other. If you see that he is not doing that, you will have to start warning him that you may leave him. You may start saying something like, "I am tired of this!!" or alike. Try pulling out the plug. He may get mad but that will show him. Also, scream at him. Guys pay attention when a girl gets out of control and demands! But again, at that point you risk of losing him. But hey, if guy is not capable of handing your demands, is he really the one that you need?
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female
reader, echo67 +, writes (21 November 2009):
 Mayb u should go out buy a porn movie pop it in a and start watching it.Spice it up alittle 4 him sometimes it's go to role play mayb u could b the other girl.Be his porn star.Get up b-4 he does and u get him up early(U KNOW WHAT I MEEN).
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female
reader, lola16182 +, writes (21 November 2009):
When you say he's searching for chicks...where is he searching for them? Like if it is on a dating site...then thats a big issue. Is he google searching girls just to ogle them? Or is he searching for girls on like Myspace/Facebook type thing?
Maybe just send a quick reply regarding where he's searching for the chicks and what he's doing when he finds them...like is he drooling over them, looking up their info, doing it to make you mad on purpose type thing (that would be they laugh when you get mad & think its funny)...and then I can give you some more insight...
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