A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok hey, first of all i'm sorry cuz this will be soooo long and 2nd im sorry if any of you seem to need mental help after reading this to return your head to a sane state! lol! Now when you read this some of you will probably remember me, but the only way i can get your true opinions is to start from beginning! And yes you've told me stuff before but other stuff has happened since as you will realise. Please understand i cannot talk to him directly about this for certain reasons, one being we've never dealt with this between us but i'm so confused!! Ok here goes:Right as some of you will know i fell in love with a lad in my class(i've never wanted a bf before and cause this went of for so long i kenw i wanted to be with him) Back around xmas i starte to get confused because although i didn;t like him in that way then he used to stare at me alot, he mvoed seats to sit opposite me and as time went on he'd alwasy say like stupid things n ask stupid questions as if for an excuse to talk. As time went on i started to really like him and it just progressed, but something happened, well kinda: We was in a lesson n i was at one end of a row and he was at the other, i dont know what they were talking about but i'm 90% sure a mate asked the lad i like a question n he answered with my name and then his mate sorta laughs and goes "arrrr(name)" but then afew days after this girl who had always been mates with this lad but had also known me throught our school life started being off with me, and ocne they were all talking about me(im sure it was her that started it) and after then the hole group sorta turned against me because she was telling them stuff about me and doing that to them, although this lad i liked did laugh along with the stuff they did he did stick up for me once and never actually started any of it, but then again he wont backstab anyone anyway!(All tht bullying is sorted now so no need to go any further) as time went on he stared at me ALOT and i mean ALOT, sometimes i couldn;t tell if he was looking through me or at me but i know now it was at me. Anyway stuff got abit weird after that, he still showd it loads except he mvoed seats to sit behind me and stuff, and when a mate of mine thought he liked me to(he showed it apperently, sorta secretly, he cant explain it but you just know by the way they act)with me being bullied he jst asked him what he thought of me in general, but this ald seemed to know what he was going on about and said how he sticks up for poeple cuz hes religous but "the thing is i dont have feeling for her" he just assumed tht whichs eems abit weird and then when my mate toldhim i liked him he said he wouldn't say anything to anyone but if he was being honest he wouldn't go out with me cuz hes choosing to stay single. I've also heard him mention when talking at breaks and stff how he;d never use anyone and we were on about films once and it was one where 2 people got hurt and he said see if youd just stayed single in the 1st place none of that would of happened. makes me wonder really because he really did show it!! Before then other stuff happened to with what people said, accusing me of liking him and when i ahd to go get him they said you go cuz he likes you best,and the two alds asked him why he always sat at the back(next to me) with a grin on their faces as if they were makign a point and other stuff was said so it all seemed pretty weird(at that point i dont think they were doing it otuta spite cuz they thought liked him cuz i didnt show it towards him them)Once he found out the signs did die down a lot, but he still did show it a bit but less obvious in a way, anyway stuff wen tof like that for about month or just over. Now this is where it starts!!Before easter(before he found out) a mate of his from another group(a girl) came to talk to us, they have always been good friends, and she stod behind me and him(i was sitting next to him) and this mate out our class(the lad tht sed arrrr)Sorta nodded his head from the lad i like to me whilst looking at him ate behind us as if to tell ehr something, now this lad i like and his mate(girl) didnt see each other after that util after the holidays but she came to talk to him first day back and asked him summat quietly and he pointed to me, after that she started talking to me around college, now i dont know if its cuz of that but i had sent her a msg on facebook askin how she was and everything and that was the first time we;d spoke, so i don't know if it was cuz of that or from what he said but as time went on we spoke again ans she asked for my msn. We just had normal conversations and then afew days after she left(although i ahd a feeling she would ask cuz i thought she knew somehting) we were on about college and she said how shes got new mates now shes left(menaing me n outta my class) and then she said but i always thought when i fist met you that you fancied(name) and she wanted to know if i did or not but i jsut sad yea i do but thats a different story n she sed y n i sed cuz i thought he liked me back n she sed "but??" as if she knew soemthing and i told ehr what had gone off. Anyway that day she gave me his msn cuz i said for some reaosn he never talks to me and isaid how id love to be with him but i dont think we will and she said it might do cause he always knew she ahd a bf(apprently he liked her afew years ago but i really dont know if thats true or if its just her saying it)She came into see us afew days after(and to drop work off) and she was teasing us like we were sitting down at lunch and i came in and she goes "u wanna sit here?" in other words next to him but i sed nah im alright and she kept rubbing his hair and looking at us both and he wasn;t laughing but just kept his head down but laughed like you do when your abit embarassed(i cant really explain it) and then when she got up to go she said "here you can sit ehre now" and i said im ok here and she lent overbto him and sed "aww she don't wanna sit with ya" That night we spoke more and she was winding me up saying how he asked if she had a bf and how fit he was and if she hadnt got a bf and didnt love him she'd ask him out but everytime i said its obvious he wants you she kept saying it aint and so i dont know if she was just winding me up but it was obvious they had been talking about me. Anyway after that week it was like a miracle had happened, he spoke to me, the starng was defenatly back! and he actually sat next to me becasue he nromally sits next to a girl in our class and i'll sit at the other side of him but if i sit next to ehr where he does he wont sit next to me at the other side, he'll sit infront an that week it was gr8 but aftr that it just went bac to the way it was before. But that last week i was speaking to our friend(that girl) and she asked how he was and i tole ehr and said how for soem reaosn after she;d been in he spoke loads n got on wlel but now tis just gone back to the way it was before and she just said typical. Whats going on!!!???But that last week was seriously freaky on te tuesday he hardly said two words to me and hardly spoke to me unless it was about work, infact he didnt seem all that friendly! until i asked the teacher in the last lesson if i could go, cuz my mate said can i go cuz ive done and she said yea and then about a minute later after id done talkingi said can i go and she said yea and the next thing you heard was a big long "NOOOOOO!!" come from the lad i like(i was sitting next to him) and so i sed yeaaa(didnt no wot to say, stupid i know) and he goes "what have you done it all!!??" as if he was not making sure but kidna shocked but on the other hand was finding an excuse for me not to go(cud be in my has but ya no thats what it sounded like) and i said yea so he said so you've finished everything and i said eya except the work we gta do thursday and he just looked at me for a second shut up and turned round but it was as if soemthing had sorta hit him or he didnt want me to go! Anyway he was left with the rest of the class and that night someone out our class has "(his name);)(K) in her msn nameand it all seemed so weird and it makes me wonder if they said owt to him. The day after we went on a trip and in the morning he just walked straight past me but i hung around with him and the other lad all day and me and this other lad got on soooo well, nromally we dont cuz of the bullying and he believed the others but after our mate came in that week this other lad started being ok with me and talking to me more(i think he knew actually)but the lad i liked got on with me while i was there but hardly spoke to me and when we all met up at dinner with everyone else he was talking to this girl, my mate who he sits next to and dunno what he said but she said "well you've got(my name)" but ti wasnt said in a nasty way it was like if you said you were scared to go somewhere and you'd say well you got a certain person who they felt safe with or something. and also that day he said on about it was last day before summer tomorrow and this girl(another one out our class) sorta looked at him moved her eyes over to me and looekd back at him with a grin on his face and he just put his ehad down turned away abit and laughed but its not laughing as in funny its as if hes embarrassed and for some reason the girl with the msn name wnated a copy of this pic of us that was funny( took on a ride) and everyone else kept saying how good it was(for soem reaosn his legs slightly overlapping mine)(i know these dont fancy him or anything, they're totally different and he deffo dnt fancy them but tis like they;re teasing him) and the last day, well in the morning he totally blanked me although i was sat with him all day we hardly spoke unless it was about work and the girl(the one that kept looking at me and him on the trip and then he turned away) was doing it again when she was sitting between us and kinda trying to say something, had a tiny bit of staring off him that day but for those last two days after the thing on the tueday afternon where he went "nooo" they were pointing out stuff i did like if i laughed at something he sad and when he fell off his chair, obviously i found it funny but they were making it obvious to him what i was doing. It was soooo weird but since then i was telling or mate(the girl who came in that day and ws teasing us) about the trip and everything but she sad how she was missing im abit(they're very good friends) but the next day she said shes asking him to come online but i havent gotta jump to talk to him, he never came on, well he did but she asked him and found out he;d never added me and is aid i didnt think he would cuz i dont think he likes me and she said no he dnt sorry and i said bet he dnt like me as mate either n she sed dnt think so, im not bein nasty by tellin ya(but she acted as if she kenw she did before with ehr asking(now he knew id got his msn and he never said anything to her about it before, wasnt mad or anything)although he never uses it but these past weeks he;s been on loads(i no cuz a mates tolds me)but cuz he never added me i havent spoken to him for like 10 weeks, except i sent him a msg the day we broke up to tell him soemone had died(my relation but someone he knew) he never replyed but then again i wouldn't know what to say to someone who just told me that and also he doesnt always reply to people anyway depends really. But i asked her afew days after did he say if id done anything to make him not like me a frend or be the way he has and she said n he never said he hated you or anything now hes the good bit! she said "he just doesnt like you tht way, i think" SHE THINKS! Now she says it and then i had to go abck into college and so did she to see a teacher and she kept going on about how he;d rang ehr and that hes always syaing stuff he dont mean and said dont listen to him(that was hwen we was on about people leaving cuz he sed he was back at xmas) but when she says dont believe him its abit uspicious+ he said to me once don;t believe owt she says, that was just a generla convo. But before we left that day she asked if id like to meet up with her afew mates and him(so he cant hate me that much) although that never happened.And No hes not a player or anything hes one of the nicest lads you'll ever meet. Im gonna see him in 2 weeks when we;re all back together again but im so woried about it! But seriously what do you think is going on or what has gone off???Honestly and you can say this is just what i want to thing if you like but having seen every mintue of this situation i personally think it started out that he had a crush on me back around xmas time which lasted for quite some time which is why he mvoed etc and probably why he told the others(if he did thatlesson that lad said arrrr(name)(because apprently he told a mate that he liked that girl-our mate tht teased us but obviously he never did anything about it and he never showed feelings towards her(if its true that is) and as time went on he became confused and with everything that was happening and the rest of them picking on me he sorta backed away but went to sit back with his mates because obviously he wanted to and he denyed it when my mate asked him because he was confused because he'd always told himself he'd stay single, basially but as time went on he realised maybe it was abit mroe than a crush and cuz he was so confused as to what he wanted with the staying single and unsure if he wantd a relationship he found it easier to just not ignore me but not talk to me as much becasue it was hard for him if he sat next to me or spoke to me an thats why he was off with me + i think they were saying stuff to him that last week. Although if its hard for him to sit next to me why will he do it if hes in the middle of me and this other friend. Ok i know none of that may make sense but why should he show it and then not add my msn or talk to me unless he is so confused that much that it really really hurts him! It seems like he does from the way he acts and how all these things keep happening but then again he;s said he doesnt but he;d never admit it to anyone if its just the fact he's confused!Anyway im so sorry for repeating all that but it just helps if you know everything!! please ont have ago at me because yes ive posted before but that was before half this stuff ever happened. Please can you try and give me your views and what you think is going on?! I really do love him and miss him so much but im dreading seeing him again. Also if you have any views on different parts of this situation like why you think certain things happened and stuf please could you let me know but please tell me whats going on here!! Its so hard! Thank you for any replys you'll be helping so much, this is all i've thought about all summer and again im sorry for the length and confusion here!
View related questions:
broke up, bullied, crush, facebook, fell in love, msn, player, teasing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Kindness  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 hiya,well that was confusing lol, erm its hard to tell really. I reckon he may like you from his actions but is confused as he keep saying that he dosnt want a girlfriend asnd all that. its really hard to give any advice because as you said you kinda had to be there. well basically i reckon he is just shy about expressing his feelings and that you have waiting long enough (and wasted your time) i reckon you should just catch him on his own and then ask him out straight about his feelings. the worst he can say is no really but you could still be great friends. like i said just get him on his own ask him whats going on (dont demmand it just ask softly) and just say ''erm look ive heard things and im confused about your actions i just wanted to hear it from you .. do you like me?'' or something like that anyways hope i havnt confused you.good luck x x x
A
female
reader, starismine1  +, writes (28 August 2008):
 One of the things you have to realize is that people of oftn give nonverbal ways of showing someone they like them, so when you sense a guy likes you by his physical behavior, eyes staring, movements, etc. these things are very real. Also, a guy can tell the same thing about how you look and move in his presence. So, no matter what you say, or your friend says, or anyone else says (and lots of times they say things for manipulative reasons or based on fear, or envy) words are not always the real truth. That's very important for you to believe, because it takes away the power you have given everyone else, to tell you what other people feel or think about you. You know how he really feels by how his eyes look at you, how nervous he gets in your presence, and the feeling you sense in the air, his aura around you etc. The 2nd thing you must see, is the negative influence this girlfriend has over you in makingn you doubt your self and feeling good about yourself. It sounds to me that s he envies you and does not really like you.She is not a true caring friend. In school situations like this, it's easy to form crushes on guys who seem unattainable. But whether or not you know from nonverbal cues that this guy likes you is meaningless, because he's not asking you out on a date. He sounds incredibly insecure about rejection, and believe me, even though you think you love him, he does believe if you ever got to know him, you would reject him. And telling someone to tell him this will mean nothing. He isn't emotionally ready to date anyone in a mature, adult way. It's time for you to wake up from your reverie of what could be with him, stop caring about what others tell you or what he seems to tell you, and focus on meeting a guy outside this click to date, who has the confidence to ask you out, because you deserve to be loved by someone capable of loving you back.
...............................
|
