A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I went out with this guy a few months ago. His girlfriend was away for about a month the first time we went out and I told him I didnt want to get hurt and that I trusted him because he was an old friend of my family. Anyway, he told me he was so confused. That I was the most amazing woman he ever met and that he thinks that what he was once infatuated with his girlfriend but doesnt feel anything for her when he kisses her. He said she expects marriage and he feels obligated to her. He told me has has thought of getting married to her and having a sign a pre nuptial agreement for when they divorce. He told me that he loves me and trusts me completely. After a month he decided that we should just be friends but in the last few months we spend so much time together. We have been to a few parties and he always tells me how confused he is after. We dont cross the line though and he always states that we are just friends. But his actions state otherwise. We went on a business trip and ending up staying in the same room ...we just cuddled..nothing more...he is a good guy.I think he is very torn and I have a feeling that after the last party we went to, after which he told me couldnt sleep, he has been maintaining his distance. I feel he wants to tell me we cant even be friends anymore...I love him but I think that maybe the best way for him to figure this out is for me to leave him alone. I am so afraid of losing him but I guess I never had him anyway.... Any advice? Am I just reading things that arent there?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2011): I have been in this situation...and yes he is using you and taking advantage of your emotions...it is not he feels obligated to be with her...he wants to be with her and have you on the side as well...what guy would not want this...because he is being allowed to behave this way...do yourself a favour and not let him mess with your emotions...it simply is not worth it..he still has his gf to fall back on and is enjoying his life...you derserve to enjoy yours too with the one person who truly cares, respects and love you as your #1...not fall back option...all the best.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): Thanks for all the feedback..negative or positive. He and I had a little fight on Friday and he apologised today telling me he never wanted us to react like that to each other again. He also told me that his GF is coming back and although he pretends that things will go on the way they have..he keeps talking about the things we need to do weeks from now...I clearly told him that when she came back I couldnt be around. He knows how I feel about him and should understand. In a way, I am glad she's coming back, it will give me the strength to leave him alone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): you may not want to hear this but sleeping with a guy in the same bed and NOTHING happens? - this very guy that thinks you are amazing, trustworthy and just so good to have around. speaks volumes. why are you allowing him to mess with your head. his gf is still in the picture. he may never leave her and do you honestly want to wait around for someone that may never happen. he "used" you for the 1 month while his gf went away. it was convienient for him. if he so loathes to kiss her because he feels nothing, why is he still with her. he does not owe her anything. so why is he still with her. is it perhaps because he WANTS to. while he is still with his gf do you honestly think you have a chance with him.
this man has got it so good thus far, 2 woman "in love" with him. but he strings both along until what? until he makes up his mind? in life we must never allow another person to determine our future. we must decide whether we want to be with the person. we have to make that choice. so, you choose - do you still wait until he clears his head or do you say my life is important and precious. i can and will find an unattached man who will love me for me and be proud to be with me?
good luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2009): i hate when guys go distant like that
im in a similar position and trust me..there seem to be NO answers but let him go through his weird phase..DONT wait around on him and he'll want you..then get him to explain to you whats going on! dnt settle for anything less huni :)
he sounds messed up, move on xx
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