A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am very tall and naturally quite skinny-I do not exercise or diet and eat what I want. I am so fed up on everyone putting down slim people and making statements about "real womanly bodies" - as if being a size 0 somehow makes you less of a woman. If I were to say to an overweight person - you are so fat, why not stop eating-that would be considered to be rude, but for people to say to me - you are so skinny, why dont you eat more - that seems acceptable?I get alot of grieve from people about my weight. Personally, this is me and I am actually happy with who I am. When I go out and people critise me I normally am sarcastic or put them in their places. We are having a big family get together and I am dreading it. Everyone is going to be putting me down, saying I look so bad whatever and I can't actually be rude to my people like my 80 yr old grandmother. So just looking for advise on a few things I can say back when they start putting me down. Maybe jsut a couple witty responses or remarks I can use to get them leave me alone or realise how silly they sound without actually being rude. About 98% of my family are overweight which maybe seems odd to them the concept of being naturally skinny I dont know....I have tried ignoring the comments, tried explaining to them that I am naturally skinny and cant help my size, tried explaining how much their comments hurt me - so not looking for any advise like those three as none of them ever worked in all these years and they still do it every time they see me! Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): Hello - I really really relate to what you have written. I'm an English size 8 and have had a lifetime (since age 13) of similar experiences and I'm now 35. The worst comments came from my husbands side of the family and in the end I decided to not attend family functions as despite saying to them I found their comments offensive they didn't stop. This demonstrated they didn't care about me and therefore I thought it was pointless continuing to go and keep on suffering it all in silence. I have been brought up to be polite. My own family (including my grandmother) have made the odd comment but strangely its sometimes come from other people who are also slim - my sister included. I think there are many things that can make a person say such blunt and sometimes cruel remarks - it can be jealousy, it can be concern or it can be nerves (i.e. they don't know what else to say) or they are trying to deflect from their own body issues by projecting criticism on you. I have also been astonished at the rudeness because I would never dream of saying anything to an overweight person. In society we are always criticising and its often a way of justifying our own weaknesses. Once you realise it is the other persons problem it becomes easier. My advice is the following. Respond - do not squirm and stay silent. Build a repertoire of comments that you can bring out as required - often I found I was left so stunned that I failed to reply and was annoyed at myself later because it was then I could think of what to say back. I will give some examples. My sister would say "My god you're so skinny aren't you!" and she is a size 6! so I said "Yeah I am and you're really huge aren't you." A larger relative said to me "Are you anorexic?" and I said "Have you actually ever seen an anorexic person in real life - if you had you'd know that I am not anorexic". I also confronted one person by saying "Are you jealous or something? Its better than being fat." I have never enjoyed the prospect of having to gear myself up for comments but its better to be one jump ahead. Do not let others undermine you. One thing I will say.... I bet you're the one that gets the looks from men. Enough said :-)
A
female
reader, BeHereNow +, writes (23 July 2007):
 Hi there, I think if you are naturally skinny, tall and can eat whatever you want and 98% of your family is overweight, there must be some envy on their part. Who wouldn't be envious, aren't all models skinny and tall and don't we wish we could eat whatever we want? If your family and other people have the audicity to make such rude comments to you, every time they do you have a right to say something like (in a very sincere voice) "I guess it's my metabolism since I can eat whatever I want - but I'm worried about YOUR weight - don't you know that being overweight can lead to high blood pressure, diabetes and heart attacks? I can't believe how many overweight people there are in this family, it's kind of embarrassing!" You sound like a nice person and it may be hard to say something like that, but if they're that rude they deserve to have the same type of comments directed back at them, along with plenty of warnings of how destructive being overweight can be. And you can really eat it up while your there - just totally pig out and constantly say how lucky you are that you can eat whatever you want without gaining an ounce. And while you're at it dress like a fashion model. Good luck at the get-together with all the fat people! ;-)
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A
female
reader, BeHereNow +, writes (23 July 2007):
Hi there, I think if you are naturally skinny, tall and can eat whatever you want and 98% of your family is overweight, there must be some envy on their part. Who wouldn't be envious, aren't all models skinny and tall and don't we wish we could eat whatever we want? If your family and other people have the audicity to make such rude comments to you, every time they do you have a right to say something like (in a very sincere voice) "I guess it's my metabolism since I can eat whatever I want - but I'm worried about YOUR weight - don't you know that being overweight can lead to high blood pressure, diabetes and heart attacks? I can't believe how many overweight people there are in this family, it's kind of embarrassing!" You sound like a nice person and it may be hard to say something like that, but if they're that rude they deserve to have the same type of comments directed back at them, along with plenty of warnings of how destructive being overweight can be. And you can really eat it up while your there - just totally pig out and constantly say how lucky you are that you can eat whatever you want without gaining an ounce. And while you're at it dress like a fashion model. Good luck at the get-together with all the fat people! ;-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2007): hi there!! I think that if they start to say things about you being skinny you should just say back yes i am skinny and thats the way ill always be!! i think its better when you act like it does not bother you in the slightest!! like just act like you never even heard what they said about u at this family get together!!! just be proud of who you are and dont let them get you down!!!
hope i helped!!
xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (23 July 2007):
 Well If you have done all those three things I fear you will just have to put up with the rude comments or not go at all. With all the eating disorders out there, a naturally thin young woman it is just assumed, by some, to have a disorder. Unfair that it is. Rude people are hard to deal with but THEY have to live with themselves and you can walk away.
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