A
female
age
36-40,
*iccy-mia
writes:Part-Two....I wanted to thank everyone for what i knew would be said but was trying to ignore the truth. I went home yesterday after posting my 1st question and had a long talk with this man. Despite his obsessive lies and denial this man can and has made me very happy. I feel like last night i was able to get another side of him, as he admitted to not allowing himself to be in this relationship 100%. For the 1st time in 3yrs he admitted to what he had done wrong and advised me he was ready to be committed. He made it very clear this would be a long road ahead and he can only try to better himself. I am sure most people are thinking i am setting myself up for another disaster, but is it wrong to want something so bad you are willing to try one more time after so many? I know I am looking at my situation through hope glasses but i feel like if i don't give it everything I've got i will never know. I believe everyone makes mistakes and i have not been perfect, for I had my share of driving him crazy. For a long time i was on his back b/c of fear of being hurt. I would watch his every move and began to push him up against a wall. I am not saying b/c of my actions it gives him the right to do this but i believe it played a very small role. Part-One... I have been with this guy for 3yrs and i thought everything was going well. He was involved in a horrible motorcycle accident were he became dependent on me for 4months. i had just met this man one week before, i decided to help him and quickly fell in love with him. After he got on his feet he started to show his true colors. I moved into his mothers house and after 8months i moved out b/c the lies where becoming to much, him and i stayed together to work out our issues. We have recently moved in together it's been about 7months and up until 3months ago i was the happiest woman alive. I found out he was talking to a 20yr striper who lives in our complex, i decided to forgive him now keep in mind i had a few minor problems with 3other woman but nothing like this one. This 20yr old striper had no idea he lived in her complex with his girlfriend (me) so when i spoke to this girl she told me everything i already knew plus some... he took her out one night and came home at 6am. i forgive him and one week went by and just yesterday i found out there is another girl but this one he has already had sex with and i know this b/c of what the text messages said. I confronted him last night and he denies any communication with this mysterious girl. What i need help in is figuring out why he does this to me and tries so hard to prove he is not a bad person.He tells me he loves me and wants to marry me that he has no intentions of hurting me and i am the woman for him. I do not doubt he loves me but right now he is living his life while having me at home cooking and cleaning and caring for him. How can a man be so cruel and still have the heart and face to tell the person he "LOVES" he has done nothing wrong. I believe he needs help just like tiger woods and i just don't seem to have the strength to let him go and move out back to my mothers house for the time being.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (22 September 2011):
 Hi,
I know you truly love this man. I know he tells you many promises, and tells you that he loves you. But, if what you are telling us here is true, then I think you gave him too many chances. He keeps lying to you, cheating, and he knows you will always forgive him, as you did so many times.
Honestly, I do think he loves you, but I don't think he's ready to be in a committed relationship. If I were you, I wouldn't be in this kind of relationship, because I would not be sble to handle, and I would go crazy. Once you lost the trust, it's difficult to get it back, takes a lot of time, and effort. So far, I don't see any effort on his part.
Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2011): Don't let him fool you! He has no intention of changing. "all he can do is *try* to better himself?!" Please, wake up! There should be no "try" on his part...if he truly loved you he could stop lying, deceiving, and cheating.You need to take a break from him. If he loves you and has truly had a change in heart, he will prove it to you with his actions! He will fight to get you back!
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