A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Dear CUPID!! I'm 23 my boyfriends 35. He recently got fired from his job and has been asking me for money. I recently lent him 2 hundred bucks to attend a football game. I am seriously broke right now because of him. I know he lost his job and I do want to be a great girl friend and be there for him but he's left me in the same position he is in which completely infuriates me. He was living from pay check to pay check. I do love him but honestly I'm not ready to be in a situation like this and I don't know what to do? Please help
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (13 September 2011):
The problem is not that he asked you. The problem is that you agreed to lend him the money when you weren't in a position to be without that money.
If you had $10000 lying around and he asked you to borrow $200 so he could go to the football game, it wouldn't bother you because you can afford to lend him the money, and you aren't concerned when he pays you back, because you don't need the cash. You could still say no of course, you might feel that he shouldn't be spending money he doesn't have, the point is it is ok for him to have asked you, it is up to you to say yes or no, for whatever reason.
This is a good life lesson. If you said no to lending him the money, it wouldn't make you a bad girlfriend. You can say no and still be a good girlfriend. Learning how to say no to people, and when to say it, how and when to put yourself first instead of others, is an important lesson. $200 is a small price to pay if you are able to learn it and be able to use it in the future.
There is nothing wrong with your boyfriend asking if it is ok to borrow $200, or borrow your car to go joyriding, or wear your underware in public, or take all of your possessions. He can ask you anything he likes no matter how rediculous, when it comes to your money or possessions it is your answer that counts.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (12 September 2011):
 200 bucks to go to a football game is very different than 200 bucks to pay rent or utilities or buy food....
is he getting unemployment? does he have a plan to pay you back?
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (12 September 2011):
 When someone loses their job, that should mean they need to make different choices.
He needs to understand the differences between his NEEDS and WANTS. Going to a football game is not a need. Where are his priorities.
When you have less income-you make do with less! He sounds irresponsible with his money and you should have told him No when he requested the "help".
The only help you should be offering him now is encouragment to find another a job. Tell him his new full time job-is finding a paying job to support himself.
Encourage him to live within his means.
Remember this experience as you continue your relationship. Poor money management always effects a relationship negatively.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (12 September 2011):
 You tell him NO!.
If he wants to spend $200 on a football game he better get off his ass and get another job. Things like that you just CAN'T afford when you don't have a job.
Telling him you can't afford to give him $200 to throw out the window on a football game is NOT being a bad GF. It's being a resposible one.
And, in the future don't LEND him any more money. You will never see it again. I'm betting he will consinder the "loans" gifts...
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A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (12 September 2011):
 Helping a friend out with necessities once in a while is one thing, but you don't set yourself back to provide someone with luxuries.
Your boyfriend isn't the one putting you in financial distress. You are by not saying 'no'.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2011): He is very selfish, come on asking you to pay so he can attend a football game what a big waste, did he thank you? Don't lend him anything you probably wont get the money back.
I feel bad when my gf pays for a single thing little thing less than a few pounds, i dont work too at the moment, but i would never ask for that sum, however broke i am, to waste it for a game than is only a few hours long, two hundred dollars could have been spent more wisely.
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