A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am scared that my partner might leave me when I get old. I was 22 and my partner was 37 when we started dating. I am now 24. His previous girlfriend was only 20 when she got with him and he was 32. His first girlfriend however was one year older than him as was a woman that he dated for a while a few years back. The porn he used to watch (he doesn't anymore since we got serious) has very young women around 18-25 year olds and he finds young girls attractive (he doesn't stare at them or anything but I know his type of woman as we used to point out women we thought were hot before I became insecure). I am worried that he might leave me for a younger model when I hit my 30's what should I do?
View related questions:
insecure, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Did he say why he left his 20 year old girlfriend? I'm thinking it's most likely her maturity level and place she was at in her life. Most 20 year olds are into school, partying, their girlfriend entourage, and guys (multiple).
A
female
reader, EbonyBlossom +, writes (1 June 2010):
 That's a difficult one. I mean if he does want to leave for younger girls then he's not gonna tell you the truth. But how long has he committed to you and how long did he commit to his exes? And why did they break up? If he didn't leave them for younger people then why should you be any different? And likewise, if he did leave his exes for younger people, then it is likely he will do the same to you.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): Hey everyone I am the OP. Thank you guys for the input.
Well, he is very committed to me. He doesn't even talk about other women, he is very loyal and he stopped watching porn with ANY women when we got serious. He doesn't believe in watching porn when in a committed relationship.
He is talking about getting married one day (although I am not really ready nor do I really want to tbh) and he is supportive of me in whatever I do, so he is on paper a great guy its just this one thing that I am worried about.
...............................
A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Maybe by the time you start getting all wrinkly, he'll be too old to really give a damn. Hey, maybe by then YOU won't give a damn either.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): If he likes young women then there is a chance, are you sure you will ever be able to enjoy growing old with someone who your so paranoid about?!
...............................
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 June 2010):
 Is this fear based solely on his porn use and the age of his previous girlfriends? Is this a genuine fear of yours?
First off: what a man watches in porn does not really reflect on his preferences in real life. To a degree yes, but to a degree no. Second: of course men find young women attractive. But if they have brains in order and are married or committed, they will stay with the woman they are with, love, or feel most comfortable with. This is an irrational fear. You don't know why it didn't work out between him and his ex'es, why do you think it was because they grew too old for him?
While it is clear your boyfriend likes younger women, you will always be years and years younger than him. Nothing changes that. And if you think he will leave you for another 20-something year old when you hit 30, well then he must just not be the commitment type of man. And THAT you should be able to see if he is or not from other factors than his porn use.
What you should do? Get to know your man and find out what kind of person he is, and base your thought on that, and not on assumptions. After two years you have to be able to find better reasons to suspect he will leave you other than "he watches porn with young women in them".
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2010): You have no reason to think this. We all get old, don't we? All you can do is be young at heart. He'll not leave you if you get old don't worry about a silly thing like that. If he does even consider it then he doesn't deserve your love. I still don't think he'll dump you just because you're getting older. :)
NightFairy
...............................
|
