A
female
age
30-35,
*irgin09
writes:I am actually 13 and one of my friends has been having sex (or so she says she does) and I was thinking maybe I should but I'm scared and my parents are overprotective -- not toooo much but I want to, now will I be a virgin forever if I'm scared to have sex??? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, xhailofbulletsx  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 No, that doesn't mean you will be a virgin forever. You are only 13, you should be afraid of sex. I know I was at that age! You being afraid simply says you are not yet ready for it, which is completely understandable. As you grow older and mature more, these feelings of fear will disintegrate and you will feel more comfortable with the idea of sex.
I think the main reason people are afraid of it, is because they are afraid it will hurt the first time...which, in all honesty, it does.
But hun, you are only 13. You shouldn't be thinking about sex yet! Just take your time, and when you're ready..then you are ready.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): every1 is nervous wen they try sumthin new i bet u wer nerous the first tym u made out with sum1 but to be honest im 13 n its way to young to have sex wait until your a bit more mature
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (18 October 2008):
No, you won't be scared of sex forever. Everyone is scared of sex at first. Its the fear of the unknown.
Its not something that is openly talked about, so its sort of like a mystery.
The fact that you are scared, is a huge sign that you are not ready to have sex yet. When you are ready, you wont be scare, and there will be no fear or questions.
I get the feeling the main reason you want to have sex is because your friend is apparantly doing it. Is this right?
If so, dont do it because of her. When you have sex, you have to do it for the right reasons- and that should be something like because you and the guy you're with are in love and it feels right.
So many people regret having sex, so be careful before you go ahead with anything. Talk about it to someone you can trust, who is older. Not someone who is a teenager like yourself because despite how much 'experience' some teenagers claim, they dont reall. So talk to your parents, an older sibling, family member, teacher, school nurse, doctor, etc... anyone who you feel you can trust.
Even if your parents are protective, im sure they love you and want what is best. If you were to talk to them about this, I think they would be happy you could come to them and openly talk.
Finally...remember you are only 13! Thats sooo young, although I know you may not see it like that. But trust me, it is young! You are going to change so much within the next 10 years. You thoughts on sex will probably be so much different 1 year later, and then the next they will change again.
Remember its illegal for someone of your age to have sex. this is because you arent emotionally mature enough to make such a hard, important and big life decision.
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A
female
reader, aunty_rach  +, writes (18 October 2008):
please do not go and have sex! 13 is far too young and if your friend is having sex at that age then she is being really silly. at that age you can not handle the emotions involved with a sexual relationship. stick to going on dates with boys if you want, but please do not have sex. if you are scared of having sex then you really are not ready to have sex. there's nothing wrong in waiting till you're abit older, i was 19 when i first had sex. the thought of doing it before would have been stupid, as i was not emotionally ready for it. so please don't do it just because your friend has, for all you know she could be making it up to impress you and others around her. respect yourself and wait till you are old enough and ready.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): First bit of advice: STAY SCARED OF SEX!!! You are too young to sexually involved, not old enough to handle the emotional part/problems. Honey, its ok to be a virgin, don't let anyone bully you into having sex. When you are ready, you won't be afraid, you'll be excited about it. Please rethink this. Just because your friends do it, doesn't mean that you have to. And if you do decide to have sex, PLEASE be smart. Don't have unprotected sex, its just too risky from all points of view.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): You are totally and completely normal to be scared to have sex at your age. There are plenty of people in their late teens or early 20s who are still virgins and are scared to have sex. It is a sign that you are not ready yet.
Try and think really hard if you want to have sex at your age, nearly everyone people ask who had sex so young say they regret it and wished that they had waited until they were older.
If you do still want to go ahead and have sex, make sure you understand about contraception, condoms and the risks involved. Imagine having to tell mom and dad that you think you're pregnant or have a sexual disease. That is what will happen if you aren't educated and clued up about what can happen when you have sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): When you are ready to have sex, you will no longer be scared of it. Your fear of it just shows that you are not mentally ready to be having sex. You're 13, you have loads of time :)
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