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female
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anonymous
writes: I’m close friends with a guy who’s 8 years younger than me; he’s early twenties. I’m getting very mixed signals from him as to whether or not he wants me as more than a friend. A few things he said left me confused:Firstly, when I mentioned I was going out with a friend at the weekend he wanted to know if it was male or female (surely if he saw us as purely friends then he wouldn’t be bothered if it was male or female). Secondly, I asked him if he wanted to come to an event I’m going to soon. As he didn’t make it last time and said how much he was missing me during this event, I thought he’d be coming to the next one. Anyway, he told me he’s since been asked to go out to 3 other events that evening and he wants to go to one of them instead. Although I’m grateful he let me know and asked me when the next event was, I felt he was blowing me off for a better offer and I think it’s bad form to do that (so I’m thinking he’s not interested in being more than friends). Thirdly, after I told him I wanted to take a holiday to a certain place, he mentioned that he’s going to that very place at the end of the year. He said if his girlfriend wouldn’t go, he doesn’t know who he’s going to take. (That was, to me, a hint that he wanted me to go with him so then I think he’s interested). I’m also confused by the term ‘girlfriend’. I thought he meant that he’s going out with someone (which is why I haven’t asked him out) - today he mentioned he’s been invited to his girlfriend’s family’s party, but in the next sentence said he’s going out with his mates soon because they want to get him fixed up with a girlfriend. So by the party I think he means a girl who is a friend not his girlfriend? (Is he trying to say to me he is still available or that he is not interested in me in that way therefore he is going out on the pull?)He also makes more contact and is more attentive when he knows I’m going to clubs, parties, etc without him where there’s going to be lots of guys. Is he working up to asking me out which is why he’s doing this? We’re both shy and seem to skirt around the issue of boyfriends/girlfriends so I’m not sure how to bring the whole subject up without us feeling awkward or jeopardising the friendship if he isn’t interested in a relationship.If I knew he wanted to be purely friends I could date other guys but I feel I’m stuck on hold at the moment (last night a guy asked me out on a date but I cancelled because I want to go out with my male friend - I haven’t told my male friend about this guy asking me out). Outwardly I am playing the cool ‘girl who is a friend’, but inside I’m really confused.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (17 April 2006):
 You two have the hots for one another but none of you have got the bottle to do anything about it.Well i think it will have to be you to get the ball rolling.Instead of all this ducking and diving....why dont you just come out with it and say to him.."Hey! i fancy going out for a drink...but just me and you"....Then see what happens,by rights he should take up on your offer,hopefully then you shall be an item.
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