A
female
age
36-40,
*irbz
writes:I am currently 12 weeks pregnant i am 19 years old i have known the father for 6 years now of which he is 23 and we have been in a realtionship for the past 4 months, when i found out i was pregnant we were both so excited,but now my partner has turned on me he tells me he wants to split up with me and he needs to talk so i'll go round to talk and we will get back together then he starts it all over again saying he doesnt want to be with me, hes now at the stage of completely ignoring me he wont answer phone calls or anything, i feel so lost and dont know where i stand with him please can you help because i am in so much need for help. Thankyou xxx
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female
reader, kirbz +, writes (24 February 2007):
kirbz is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for your answers that you have both given me, but the wierdest thing happened he shown up out of the blue last night and he has been phoning me constantly i dont understand what he really wants beause one minute he wants me and the next he doesnt, i understand i need to do whats best for my baby i just want it to have a happy life when it arrives, i really dont know what to do anymore i am so lost?? xxxxxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2007): Sweety, he doesn't want to be a Father. You dated this fellow for just 4 months. Now at 19 years old, you are pregnant and basically abandoned by this man! And here you are confused and lamenting as to why he ignores you? His actions are clearly telling you: he's weak (no backbone) he's immature and he doesn't love you like you thought he did. And, I don’t think what you experienced with him, was love. Love takes a long time to grow and develop. Love is kind, caring, and protective. Love involves being cherished. These things are not in this relationship you had with this young man or he'd be there right now, by your side. Muster some strength here and think of the baby. You have to now start thinking of this child and begin making a huge life altering decision about where you want to go from here. Do you have this baby, do you raise this child as a single Mom, or do you put it up for adoption? You need to reach out to the very people who love you the most...your family. Please talk to your Mother. f your mother is not available to you is there another woman in your life who would listen to you and give you guidance? I think you did lack better judgement here about this fellow and perhaps about relationships, in general. This does happen to good, nice people and my heart goes out to you and this baby. We have all done things in our own lives, where our emotions did overrule our better judgment. I recommend you listen to theguidance, words and wisdom of people who care deeply for you like your mother, possibly an aunt, a good friend but people 'you' trust wholly and you love a lot. So now..your top priority? Focus in on the well-being of your unborn child and lose contact with this guy. He has clearly given you the message he does not want to be a father. You are not missing out on much here. But, I will say-if you choose to raise this child on your own...make darn sure, he pays his child support payments. He is financially obligated to this child for the next 2 decades and emotionally obligated to your child for a lifetime. When women get hurt, so many of them are too scared to get mad at what's happened to them..they feel like they aren't entitled to be treated better. Don't do this! Don't get confused, hurt and depressed. The difference between being righteously angry (which you are entitled to) and passively hurt/depressed and whiney? Energy, dear. With energy you have power and you gain strength and you rise up and realize what he did to you, is crappy and he has a lousey character traits. Reality needs to hit, here so you can become strong and focus on your future, your baby's future and stop 'pining' away for a guy who doesn't care, hun. I am sorry for this heartache. Keep me posted on how things work out for you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, answers4u +, writes (23 February 2007):
 hii just wanted to say that maybe the father is scared of what will happen wen u give birth and he doesn't know how to handle it. So just talk to him and tell him u don't need him having a splilt personality because this time u need him and u can't do it yourself. That way he will underdatnd your vulnerabnlity and change.Hope it works out and can u update me on wat happened thnx
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