A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am madli in love with a man. But he has family. He is a very responsible husband and a father. He also loves me very much. We have a great sex life.But he told me before starting that he is not powerfull to spoil his wife's life. I also feel the same i don't want him to leave his wife for me. He is my first man in my life. He spends all his time with work and his family. WE both just meets on saturday when the whole day he is with me. But i feel satisfaction in this only as i love him very much. I can't think of another man in my life. I have decided that i wll remain single throughout my life and wll continue my secret relation with him like this only, without disturbing his family.wl it be fine for me?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): You cant choose who you fall in love with and I bet you purposely wouldn't have picked this scenario. Im not condoning you and your actions but I'm not judging you for them either. You have obviously made up your mind to stay with this man, just do one thing, and keep an open mind. Dont stay at home waiting for him just in case he calls, keep your life full and interesting and you never know you might one day walk down the street and bump smack bang into someone who you can love more than this married man. And he may be able to love you equally as much. x
A
female
reader, Artistry  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Hi there, This is your life and you will live it as you will. But would you tell me why you think so little of yourself, that you will allow a married man to use you, when he can get away from his family? Women do amaze me when they become so alturistic, that they are going to sacrifice and devote themselves to being a bedmate for someone who made vows, to "love and to cherrish", etc, to one person in essence. So they had no problem, breaking those vows, right, then what does that make him, you have the answer, But more than that, where is your self-esteem, is there a Freudian thing going on, where you are stealing daddy from mommy. Come on, face yourself, and try to be honest, what happens when his wife and children find out? He will leave you cold, you are a sex toy, maybe, as someone said, he loves you, but what does that do for you, you are counting yourself as not worth having someone of your own to love, to start a family, to not have to wonder all the time, about being discovered, especially by the children. To hide in the shadows, and make sure you are not seen in public with him. You wrote us for some reason, you
surely don't want justifiication, suppose your father was this man, how would you feel, trust would be broken between father and child, because of someone like you. Well, you have carved out quite a position in life, but like I said initially, this is your life, this is not a movie, Think about it, we have one passage of time, to do somethings that we can be proud we accomplished. Can't tell you what to do, just lay out the scenerio as you have explained it. If you are happy to be the other woman, and sacrifice your only life for this woman's husband, then so be it. You take care of yourself and, enjoy the situation you have made a choice to be in. Sometines love is really not enough. Take it easy.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 December 2008):
 I wonder how happy you will be years from now, when on a cold Canadian winter's evening, as you sit all alone and lonely, staring out on the snow and ice through your window, wondering when the next time he will be able to spare a few minutes for you. Meanwhile, he sits cuddled up with his wife on the couch, before a roaring fire, laughing together as they look at the pictures of the grandkids.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): You are disgusting,how can he be a responsible husband and father when he spends every saturday shagging you instead of caring for his family, this will only be a secret until his wife finds out where he goes every saturday then hopefully you will find out what is like to do this to another woman, she may even tear you apart. You may love him, he only loves you on Saturday when your knickers are around your ankles, you are so young to make such statements about remaining single. YOU are being USED by a married man you are fooling yourself, he spends 6 days a week with his wife and 1 day satisfying his extra sexuall needs what a fool you are, he will break your heart and your self-asteem and your future, get a bit of pride back and dump this cheating liar.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): I have a newly born baby myself.I shudder to think What would happen if my husband got caught on to a situation like this.If you do shoplifting you are penalized.If you steal from a home you are penalized.I don't understand how come there are no laws to penalize women who steal other people's husbands.
If a sparrow builds a nest anywhere in the house we are not supposed to disrupt it in India.Its considered a sin.If people give so much respect to the sparrow's nest how much respect should we be giving to another woman's nest.She would have built her nest with the same loving care right.
If a married man tempts you or you get tempted by a married man take a step back.Envision his wife who would be eagerly waiting for her husband.Envision their kids who will eagerly be waiting for their dads.I agree men are equally to blame.But as women,shouldn't we be more considerate to that poor wife?
Next time a married man shows interest in you,tell him his wife must be looking else where as well.See the change in his face.He would want his wife to be pure.
For all the women who are currently having an affair with a married man,"If he can cheat on her,he will definitely cheat on you".Its just a matter of time before he loses interest in your body.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): How can you love this man? he's a responsible husband? no way he is! You are tearing this family apart. I'm not saying it's your fault he's cheating, he most properly have found another woman if you said no. I just think any person deserves better than just once a week, I don't get how the guilt whasn't over come you. Maybe it's cause I come from a family with both my parents together, you wouldn't understand the devestation it would cause the kids and the wife.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (8 December 2008):
 Sweetheart, you are surely going to receive quite a number of negative posts telling you to leave this man alone etc. "Dear Cupid" as a collective is not keen on adultery. However I'm going to try to get in first as a man who is on the other side of the situation that you are in (although it is not for me to know whether they love me madly or not).
People will tell you that he cannot love you and love his wife / family. That is not true, he can, I am sure of that. However, be careful, he may love you but he will protect his family ahead of you if there is a danger that the situation becomes known.
I'm worried about your statement that you will remain single throughout your life. I hope that your man won't let that happen even if it is what you think you want now. If he loves you then he should realise that there will come a time in your life when you will need someone of your own and to be number 1 in someone's eyes.
Neither of my girls have a father still alive. For me the perfect bitter-sweet end to the affair will come when I actually or just figuratively walk them down the aisle to give them away to another man who will belong just to them, who can be a father to their children, who can be there when she is old and sick and give them the time that I cannot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2008): How is he a responsible father and husband when he is cheating on his wife with you? And did you know that the best thing a father can give to his child is to love the mother? You are young right now. Perhaps some years down, you'll want more. They always do in the end. My advice is you find someone else to love.
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