A
female
age
36-40,
*unkissed10
writes:Im 21 years young and I dont have a clue what profession I am going to college for. Meanwhile, I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years and have we had our ups and downs. He is 24 and already having awful problems being in debt. His family and mine have no connection what so ever, he works over 70 hours a week doing hard labor outside all day and is exhausted when he comes home..so sex isn't present as much as it should be, which sometimes makes me feel neglected. He gets into these horrible moods sometimes, and did I mention that he is living with me in my mom and dad's place paying no rent ?? So my parents moved down south and I miss them terribly and part of me wonders if I should move down because I start to think about the future. What if this is what my life is going to be like till i'm old and gray..NO NO NO !!!! I am so full of life and I want so much and I want a husband who's family respects me and my family, a husband who's mood doesn't change in the blink of an eye. Sometimes my bf's tone is so rude with me it makes me sick! But on the other hand I am so comfortable and I don't know what I would be like without him ?? Please if anyone has any advice I am having such an awful time right now and I just would appreciate an opinion that may open my eyes. I want to make it work with him but I do know what I want in life and I don't know if I can have that with him. Thanks !!
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female
reader, Sunkissed10 +, writes (21 October 2010):
Sunkissed10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question I have relocated for school until April doing this long distance thing..it blows i hate it and it makes me miserable!
A
female
reader, Sunkissed10 +, writes (26 May 2010):
Sunkissed10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks guys !! So, I might have to move down south with my parents (it not being my choice) if they cant afford the 2nd house where I live right now which is 11 hours away. And I asked my bf last night what he would do if I had to move down, and he says "well i will just keep working", and he would move in with his mom who just moved close to the house we are in right now, and hes like "you can always stay with me there instead of moving down." I am so torn and haven't ever been in this kind of situation, and it is so nervewrecking!!! I have bad anxiety already so yeah it can get pretty hectic at some times. And when I start to think about him not giving me his 100% effort in the relationship it just makes me furious, because I try and do everything I can to please him. Our relationship was great in the beginning and I just feel like he understands me more than any other guy ever will, but what am I saying?? Im only 21, and I know there are so many men on this planet.
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A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (26 May 2010):
 Break it off. You're too young to settle. If you trade being comfortable for being happy you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, NR  +, writes (26 May 2010):
Hi, i feel that I'm in the same situation as you with a few adjustment.Me and my boyfriend have been going out for 4 and a half years now but things have turned cold between us..we have broken up in the past but have got back together. He's my second boyfriend and hate the thought of being single (at times it feels like I am due to the lack of love, care and attention that he gives me) we have a long distance relationship and recently we haven't spent proper time with eachother. I blame not seeing eachother for our fighting. He is very selfish but I am trying to except his flaw but love is one thing that I need. He's lied to me in the past about where be was (going out in the evening when he said he was going to sleep) when I was going through a really bad time in my life.When were together we have so much fun with eachother and he makes an effort.To be honest, if you want this to work then you have to see this as a challenge. If you really love him and deep down you know he loves you too hen things should be ok.If you feel that he could never change and give you what you need then I think you should take time to think whether this is the life you actually want.Try to reflect on his actions, I know it sounds bizarre but he may feel neglected in some way. Try to connect with him in different levels, if you keep trying he will get used to it. Maybe if you play hard to get then he may start to notice and try harder. (be warned that sometimes this does not always work and you may feel hurt even more)If you have any advice for me i'd be grateful, good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2010): Wow it was like reading my previous life minus the cheating bf. I like you am 3 years younger then my ex, I was comfortable with him but wasnt happy. I was with him for 3 years. However unlike your bf mine could hardly hold a job. He was in bad debt and lived with me in my parents house paying NO RENT, his family werent like my family.. we are loving and loyal, his didnt care about each other and had no aspirations to make things of themselves, so therefore no connection either. His moods would change at the blink of an eye - his fantasy future consisted of amazing things for us, but he did nothing in the present to make them come true. I stayed for 3 yrs because i was "comfortable".. well my mistake.. I ended up being used and cheated on the ENTIRE relationship.. I never broke up with him because I felt sorry for him. Even bigger mistake - my advice, doesnt sound like your bf really cares.. I thought mine did just because he said "i love you" but really, his actions proved it was just a lie.. he ended up knocking up one of his mistresses.. leave this douchbag now before you end up being totally used and disrespected like I was. Put YOU first for once, dont worry about him because it doesnt sound like he cares for you all that much. good luck
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