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female
,
anonymous
writes: my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and six months now. His family refuse to meet me because im not indian. he is 21 and i am 18.his mum calls all the time telling him to go home and do this for her etc. his family are really horrible to him - they didnt even get him a card on his 21st! anyway the main problem is that he always blows me out for her! he will promise me that he is coming round then call saying oh i cant now because ive got to take my mum shopping! its only the last month or so that he has been blowing me out and spending more time with her - he used to basically live with me. we always break up over this because i get ready 2 see him then he calls and cancels - leaving me in tears. i love him so much but can i really stay with a man who makes me cry everyday just because he cant say "no mum im going out?!" ive told him that everytime he cancels plans he is putting them first and makes me feel as though he dont love me but he still does it all the time! what do i do?! i could seriously love him forever - i just cant go on crying everyday - im only 18! i dont want my life dictated around some miserable old racist woman! why is he so scared to stand up 2 them? i tell him that if he truly loved me he wouldnt be able 2 bear 2 c me cry and he would put me first. he says he does but he dont! i feel as though im his missus! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 July 2006): Okay, recognize that your boyfriend is (apparently) part of a package. I know you'd like to just be with him alone, but clearly his parents are far too entrenched in his life for you to avoid their meddling. Now, do you feel like staying in this weird, 3-way relationshp? His mom, God bless her, is not going anywhere anytime soon. Can you put up with her interference and your boyfriend's concomitant, blind devotion to her? At 18, you frankly don't need to settle for crap like this. There are LOTS of other boys out there who have long since cut the cord.
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