A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My young 65 year old husband whom I adored and he did me,died 18mths ago. He told me to find somebody younger next time. I have fallen in love with a young sometimes childish 70year old.When I am with him everything is great apart from him being too layed back and not caring about his appearance. He is a very unselfish man and an excellent lover. He gives me my freedom, I have already been on 3 girly holidays this year. He doesn't like clubbing. We get on really well together. most of our time is spent in his world, layed back retired country life which I enjoy too! The trouble is when I am not with him I feel he is too old for me, I really do want a younger man who I can go clubbng with and feel proud of. I feel terrrible for thinking like this. There is a constant niggle in my mind that things aren't right.Yet I can't imagine life without him but I am scared I might lose him too. He and others tell me I am beautiful, I am just me. I have tried dating younger men but all they want is sex or phone sex. I am worth much more than that. Please advise me or else I am likey to make a big mistake. I will either finish with someone who adores me or I might be fooling myself that I am in love.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to the 3 people who answered my initial question.3 months on and I am still with my gentle man it is now 1 year. I have decided that is better to have loved and lost than to never love at all.My husband left me with some wonderful memories and my lover will too. I am very lucky to have found two loves consecutively who adore me and make me happy. What will be will be and everything happens for a reason. I believe that, thanky ou all for your help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): it seems you re having an ideal situation now. Younger for sex you can find easily and everuwhere, but living with someone who gives all ur freedom, yet caring for you too is a bit difficult. why not having fun in the clubs and still have a nice,calm home with a loving man to come back too? Think a bit wisely and make a decision. I personally would take that side of things.
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A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (13 October 2007):
It sounds like you have an ideal situation now. It won't last forever. Nothing does. Make a change when you have to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 October 2007): I suppose the quick answer is that you can't have it all ways.
Your life with this 70 year old chap sounds prety idyllic, he looks after you in and out of the bedroom and other than him being a little too laid back for your liking, everything in the garden is rosy.
On the other hand, it's a pretty much forgone conclusion that he's going to die before you, unless he's got the constitution of The Queen Mother, with what I assume could be an age gap of up to 19 years. A younger chap with the same qualities as your present love must exist out there somewhere but you're happy how things are at the moment.
I suppose you have to try to look into the crystal ball and see what's in store for you in the next ten to twenty years. Why not talk to your lover, tell him what you're thinking and ask him for his opinion? He might even sanction you having younger male friends to go clubbing etc with. He cannot be totally blind to the fact that you might need a little more youthful company now and then for rather more youthful activities other than sitting watching the roses grow.
Phil
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