A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my partner for over three (3) years. We are building a house together, and our lives are moving forward. He's 25, and sometimes he does feel a bit confused about his direction, career... But we talk about it. Last night, while making love... He would barely look at me, and kind of placed his head down beside my shoulder (him on top). I said I'd like him to look at me, and he said that sometimes I don't look as though I am enjoying it... So he looks away? He said that he is also trying to concentrate. I find the act quite painful sometimes, so I just don't know what he expects of me. He seems to be preoccupied with the notion that pornography is a real reflection of what women think, or how they act towards sex.I told him I was concentrating, and also enjoying it... But I am not overly expressive... Is this something to be concerned about?
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female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 The main thing that concerns me about your post is the fact that sex is painful for you sometimes. It shouldn't be painful. This is definately something for you to investigate why.As for the non overly expressive bit that's life. Some people like to talk during sex and some people don't. He needs to accept you for the way you are and love you for it and vice versa.
A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (8 January 2012):
 To some degree, it is a bit of a concern. Your b/f obviously reads or watches some porn. In his mind (at least) sexually charged women always make noise and appear to be having a real good time. That is not entirely realistic but I will say alittle goes a long ways. While you do not need to be a porn star in bed, a few noises of pleasure might be appreciated. Men do tend to put alot of pressure on their performances in bed, and if their always playing to a silent movie it's very hard to know if you're pleasing your target audience. Every good actor needs a little feedback and praise. A man is no different. If sex is painful then you are not lubed enough. There's nothing worse than being dry when a guy enters you. If you cannot conjure up some sexy fantasies of your own that turn you on sexually, then try some flavored lubricant and try to loosen up a bit. Try moanng or sighing, or saying a few "Oh gods" now and then so he knows whatever he's doing does feel good. Being expressive takes practice and but it's much more rewarding than just laying there quietly wishing it was over with.
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