A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am 24 years old and have been with my boyfriend for 16 months. I have known him for many years because he was a goof friend of my ex partener (7 years). This is possibly the route of the problem as they do not speak any more only when I am not around.I moved in to my partners house 10 months ago because it is oposite my moms where i was living and I stayed there most nights anyway. I was completely inlove with him in the beggining hense the quick move in to his house. I spent all of my time with him and enjoyed his company, I even helped him through financial problems. We were very much in love and we got engaged 5 months ago. Since then Its seems to have just got worse.Things started annoying me about him. His drinking habbits with his mates most weekends, spending lots of money on drinking and not having any money for holidays, he was not paying of his debt as he had said he would, he used to make planns and never stick to them. Over time I think this has just made me realise the plans for traveling and moving away do not fit with his lifestyle and I found my self picking faults every few weeks when he did something I did not like.Since 4 months ago I have become less interested in what he has to say or does and now I am not even in love with him.I am a very controlling person. I also feel very selfish and just sometimes want to go out and escape from him to be myself. I dont often go out but when I do he gets very wired about it like he doesnt like it? I have tried talking to him about my issues several times to his face and in letters but I cant get a response from him. I dont understand him.I feel very guilty because I know he is a lovely man and would do anything for any one and I think he really does love me but were just different people?I am not in love with him any more but am scared that it's my fault and my critical ways that I feel like this. My reasons to stay with him at the moment are because I think its me and I am trying to get the love back with hope and like every one am scared of being alone?Do you have any advice please?Many Thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice it is very re-asuring comming from someone who is out side the circle rather than from a biased opinion.
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