A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My fiancée proposed to me using the same ring his dad gave his mom. I didn’t really have any negative feelings about this since it seemed sweet to keep it in the family until his mom brought up that he asked her for the ring when we we’re in a bad spot financially and he couldn’t afford another ring. Now it kind of feels weird to be technically wearing her ring. His dad has passed 21 years ago and she’s remarried now to her new husband but it still feels like I’m carrying something that doesn’t belong to me. Would it be in bad taste to bring this up? I’ve made small comments about buying a place holder ring because I’d be worried about losing this one on vacations and such and I’d honestly buy it myself but I don’t want to hurt him in anyway. I’m a believe that the things we own carry memories and I’d like to have one with my own ring. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 July 2021):
 I think I would definitely tell him that you would rather not use and perhaps lose the family "heirloom" but rather have a substitute ring. Then keep the one he proposed to you within a safe place.
While I think it's cute to use an heirloom family ring (and it shows that your future MIL likes you) I think it's totally OK to find and get a placeholder.
I would not tell him that you feel it's not yours.
Any guy with an ounce of sense would understand why you wouldn't want to lose that ring.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2021): It's usually considered an honor. You can always have the ring reset, or redesigned, when things get better financially. For now, keep it to yourself. It might hurt his feelings. It would certainly not go over well with your future mother-in-law! It's telling her it's not good enough!
Many women remain perpetual-girlfriends, or forever-single; and the guy never puts a ring on it!
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