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female
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anonymous
writes: I've never considered myself shallow but I've been dating my boyfriend for a year and four months now and I've always held back when it comes to him. And I've had people ask me why I'm with him because I'm far more attractive than he is. I never thought much of these remarks and just brushed them off. But the hardest part is that I find myself constantly getting hit on by other guys and that makes him so jealous. I care about this boy deeply but I worry that our physical appearances may the demise of of our relationship. I try to be strong when it comes to other guys but it's so hard some times. Any advice on how to deal with this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): well he has all the right in the world to be jealous if other guys are constantly hitting on you! especially if you go along with it, or enjoy it. honestly, it sounds to me like you're a bit superficial, and you obviously don't love this boy, seeing as how if you did, looks wouldn't matter. because when you truly love someone, you think, no matter what they look like, that they're the most attractive person in the world. so yeah, i'd break up with the poor guy. he needs to find someone who's gonna love and find him appealing, rather than someone who's gonna be too concerned with appearances.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): Actually, I think you should break up with him and go for someone who is 'better' superficially. This seems to be a major aspect of your 'beliefs'. You may not be actively shallow, but it is dictating your emotions and desires.
Objectively speaking, that is.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2006): 1. When people ask you why you're with someone like this boy when you're so attractive why aren't you answering with a smart outline of this guys amazing qualities instead of brushing people off??
2. 'I care about this boy' - After nearly a year and a half, why only care? Not love him? Or adore him?
3. Guys hit on you all the time and you try to be strong? Meaning what - you don't say, 'I'm sorry, I'm already seeing someone?' Meaning that you respond to their attentions?? Cheating??? (i guess not, but for how long?)
4. This seems harsh, but it seems to me you've got something missing in your current relationship, be it his attention or just the comfort of feeling you're dating an equal.
You sound like you're looking for a way out, for someone to say, 'God yes, what on earth are you playing at, go get someone better looking - you deserve it!' Duh! There's SO much more important that the first physical appearance - be honest with yourself and then be honest with him - it's only fair.
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