A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am married in long distance relationship, my wife come last year on my country to us get married .I know that she loves me, I don't have any doubt about it. her family in USA doesn't know that we got married here in my country Colombia.The problem is I am too much in love with her, I think on her all the time, we see each other in Skype and we play games and we talk for at least 2 hours everyday. The thing is she doesn't give me any kind of sex online. I tease , I flirt with her but when I ask her to show me something , she never does! She always has some excuse...I argued with her many times about this because I was addict on sex (I still am, but I hate porn) I am not having any sex with women in my country no because I am good guy but it is because I really want to my wife as woman . Last time a 1 week ago I really got mad and I told her I won't ask for sex (online sex) from you anymore, I won't flirt or tease you anymore because I am tired of it.I have high temper I am nice guy but when I get mad I get crazy and much more if I don't have sex. She told me that she avoids thinking of sex because I am not there and she doesn't want to be like I am . Okay she doesn't know but I am watching porn again (women that take their clothes off for everyone on internet..old, young whoever ..its so easy look women's body for free) I was free of this damned thing for 2 years and now I am back! I;m not cheating her with other woman because I know if I started a relationship with other woman this will complicate my situation. Last I wrote to her this letter (it is apiece okay). Okay this letter that I sent to her I pretend that I am not caring anymore...She is great but she is being a bitch..just tell me what do you think about my way and my letter..Thanks. "writing this email to you too because the way that I am treating you on the last couple days, I want tell you that I am still not perfect on the way that I want to be with you and It seems now that I am upset or angry with you but I am not angry with you.I just don't want to be more passionate with you .One side of me wants to be romantic but the other side tells me be be cool and just don't care about anything so I am trying to be like you on sexual way, because it is better for us. Really I am getting it a little bit for now but I am doing good right now I can look at you and don't see you on sexual way and I don't feel any more wish on flirt with you, last night you were on video and I was playing games no looking at you but paying attention to your words,really if we don't talk anymore on video maybe I won't miss see you lol lol You wanna bet?? lol we can see who will ask first to see each otherThe days that is coming, this "kind of upset look that you see on me now, It will go away. We will talk just as really good friends that we are besides we are married. I am not excited if you will come or not come on June or July to my country to see me, we can do it on September if you agree with this.""
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (26 April 2011):
Hello again. I don't suggest either of you making a permanent move to the other one's country, just in case it doesn't work out.
What would be wiser first, is for maybe her to visit you for 2 weeks - soon, and stay with you in Colombia and just see how well you really get along when you are together all the time.
Because really, you don't know how it's going to work, until you are together in the same place.
With her being American and you Colombian, it's possible that your lifestyles and cultures are very different. That's something that you both might not have considered.
The differences between you could make or break you. But you won't know that until you are together.
In any case, for either of you to move to live with the other in another country altogether - and another continent! - is a HUGE move for either of you!
And to move from where you have always lived, and leave all your family and friends behind, can put a huge pressure on the relationship right from the very beginning.
Quite often when this happens, the one who makes the actual move, misses their family so much that it ends up causing the breakup of their marriage altogether. Because being so isolated is very lonely, and it makes that person very unhappy indeed.
Even though you have your family there with you, that isn't the same as her also having her family close by as well. No matter how well they all get along with each other - it just isn't the same.
It'd be different if you lived in the USA as well. But you're not.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for the answers...We hope be together on next year.....and finish this of LDR...be well you both..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you very much for the answers...We hope be together on next year.....and finish this of LDR...be well you both..
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 April 2011):
 I gotta tell you I would have phone sex over online sex any day of the week. I am not no matter what doing online video sex shows with my man... and we are in an LDR.
Sorry I hate that idea... too many things about it that bother me.
do you guys have an end date for the LDR that will be when you are together in real life?
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A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix +, writes (19 April 2011):
Hi there. Forget about the long distance relationship, you have to actually see each other!
You can't expect any relationship to last if you don't see each other. It's virtually impossible!
You and her have to get together to be together and really get to know each other properly.
I doubt it has any real future otherwise.
I am guessing that you and her getting married, started from a long distance relationship initially via the internet - is that true?
Your decision to even consider marriage from an LDR, was probably too rushed.
It also seems that neither of you really wants to move out of your own country to be with the other, so your relationship is probably doomed from the very beginning.
Unless you and her can have a serious talk about how you can make this thing work, well then you might have to call it quits altogether and legally end the marriage.
Good luck with it. Take care and best wishes.
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