A
female
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anonymous
writes:I know my boyfriend loves me as he tells me all the time and shows me in so many ways. I love him very much also.But i constantly worry over silly little things, thinking that he is going to go off me and something is going to go wrong etc. I have been hurt badly in the past and i think this is what contributes to this.I don't know what to do about this problem i have. I don't want it to ruin this fantastic relationship I have! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, LaRochelle7 +, writes (10 September 2006):
Hi - what you are going through is actually quite normal. You say you know your boyfriend loves you, as he tells you all the time and shows you in so many ways. You are probably feeling so happy that you think it can't last and something has to go wrong.... this will no doubt have something to do with you being hurt badly in the past.
You can learn from this previous experience... try and put it behind you... enjoy all the new happiness you are having at the moment and don't think back to the past.. one day at a time is best... life really is too short to worry about what might happen. No-one can ever be certain in life but you are so lucky in having a wonderful relationship you should be enjoying every moment.
Perhaps you could mention your insecurities to your boyfriend - he sounds as if he may listen and understand, and will help to reassure you. Good luck.
A
female
reader, b3x +, writes (10 September 2006):
 Join the club honey!
I am the worst worrier in the world, I worry about stupid things, seriously though, this is quite embarrassing, I had to get a new library card a couple of years ago because I lost my original but I was worrying about the fact someone else might find it and run up a massive bill on my library account! Oh my god reading this...so embarrassing! *Holds head in hands in shaaaaame!*
Anyway, I worry about stupid things all the time and sometimes I can get myself in such a state and my stomach is swirling and everything. My mum thinks I'm crazy (lol) but if no one else worried what would the world be like?! You know why we worry, its because we care, we care too much about stupid things!
What made matters worse for me was I found my best mate in bed with my bf (who is now my ex of course!)A bit like your situation and I totally lost trust in all guys! But since I met my new fella I explained my situation to him and he was fine by it all, we took things slowly and suprisingly he gained my trust. It takes time but its worth it in the end, I know he'd do anything for me and I know when he goes out with mates I have nothing to worry about.
I found though I used to worry alot when I hit puberty, my hormones were all over the place! So this might be your situation, you have to find a way of dealing with it though or you'll push your boyfriend away and you'll be thinking 'gosh why did I do that?!' What I found useful though was something my neighbour got me called 'Rescue Remedy' Its a natural herbal remedy which kinda eases your nerves, I found this relaxed me a little which meant I didn't worry too much!
Make sure your current bf knows about your position, I'll sure he'll understand, so talk to him about it, tell him you don't want to push him away and that.
Your bf loves you, you KNOW this you just don't want to believe it! So trust what he says and get on with it! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2006): All you really can do is give your relationship time and chance. Over time and experiences, you may feel more secured with him. Of course, just be mindful that a successful relationship needs open communication, but know that even in open communication, some personal thoughts can still be kept from each other. Trust is only a *result* of communication, so try not to mistake trust as a key factor in an intimate relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2006): i think you experience a trauma in life, since you said you are already hurt before, all i can say is try not to think so hard'its not his fault of what you had before' remember pedro is not the same with juan' give all the love that you can give to him and if one day he go' someday he will realise that you do' are the one who really care.and he will come back.dont think hard it will only brings you stress....
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