A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi Ladies and men .... i have a dilemma i need some input into! I am just fed up of some of these guys i keep on meeting! So I met this guy we work near eachother and would always chat when we saw eachother (i cant really talk good to people i fancy so prob more of a stutter on my behalf!) anyway it didnt seem to put him off as whenever he saw me he would jog over! ask me lots of questions, sometimes compliment me .... so I thought he may be a bit interested? Anyway I was never myself around him, i dont know why as I am normally v confident but i just found him so good looking i didnt know what to say! So he took my email 1 day and started emailing me straight away just flirty stuff .. anyway I had to go so i suppose stupidly instead of leaving it i told him if he wanted to carry on with the convo he could ask for my num ;-) he replied straightaway giving me his .... is this the first mistake? should i have maybe acted cooler? so that night we swapped a few texts again flirty banter. Then the next we were emailing and he said no one was in at his house so he would be lonely, i was actually busy that night so never replied as it's not actually asking to see me! Then we had some texts the follwoing day, just him being flirty. So then they died down a bit and i would get the odd one from him saying he thought I looked good or something, again no asking to see me. He went on hol so when he got back i just asked him how it went and he replied did we wanna compare tans and white parts?? flirty but again not asking me out in a sense. It was always things turned round to turn sexual instead of him just maybe askinghow i was. I did get fed up in the end of everything being turned round in this way so told him i'd had enough of the sexual remarks all the time (there was a lot) So the last time I saw him he text me saying I should meet him out, I ended up going out in the end and told him I was out and NOTHING!! my friend saw him and told him i liked him ... how annoying i did not want her to do this as she doesnt know him and im not at school anymore so that was kinda embarrasing! I didnt know she had said this he told me as i sent him a happy new year email and he said he had seen my friend and that she had told him i liked him and he cant remember much else. So i just replied and said sorry and not to llisten to her when shes been drinking, i have heard nothing since!!! what went on here??
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2010): A guy who only wants to email you and text you and wants you to pursue him, is not a guy you want to invest anything in. He is a player and he has several women on the string. He probably is a big fat loser and has nothing to offer a woman except his looks and he has learned that is his currency to win women, in short he is a shallow pri**. Tell this guy to bugger off....
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (15 January 2010):
He wanted you for sex, and nothing more. Sorry about that. Your first mistake was to base all your feelings about him on his looks (he was so good looking), and didn't spend enough time getting to know him. I'm sure you're fed up with all the tin can men. So when you meet a guy you like, really get to know him face to face (dates and such), before anything else. Then you'll be able to find out whether he wants you for sex, or for more. Because a guy who wants just sex won't spend that much time on you, like this guy. A guy who wants more will actually get to know you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2010): He was never looking for anything serious. Thats what went on, he tried to string you along with his plans, but failed. So he lost interest because he figured he can't get sex from you easily. If you believe there is a chance this might be wrong, ask him up front "why did you never ask me out on a date?". Maybe he will say he wanted you to ask him out on a date, but from how you describe his remarks I would guess the only thing he ever wanted was to be alone with you at his house in bed.
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